Monday, July 03, 2006

Pickett's Slots

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" Don't let the cannon scare you. It's not loaded. And neither are we at the moment, but we're working on it.

This is back in the news here in July of 2006.

Lawmakers are preparing to pass a bill that will allow casino gambling in Pennsylvania. Some members of the PA legislature tried to have removed the planned casino in Gettysburg, but no dice. If Gettysburg's casino goes, Philly's do too. After all, Philly has historic sites and it gets casinos, so why not Gettysburg?

Hey, we got Judge Alito (living up to advance billing), so slots at Gettysburg seem fully rational to me. Here's a few names they might use.

Pickett's Parlor
Little Round Slots
Sleezer's Palace
The Forgotta
Yankee Boodle Candy

and this one's a no-brainer ...

Stars 'n' Bars

What an absolutely fabulous venue for gaudy, grubby money-pits full of desperate old ladies! Think of the product tie-in!

Come see the ground where 50,000 men got brutally killed or devastatingly injured in three days of bloody warfare! Then relax with a Cosmopolitan in our plush casino, where you can shoot craps 24-7! Performing tonight, The Grateful Dead!

Abraham Lincoln just went to the post office and asked for a Change of Gettysburg Address card.

America: Land of the moron, home of the moron.


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