I Know, It's Only Rock and Roll
"As for me and my house, we will follow The Residents."
Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," America's first stop on the World Wide Web!
Well, maybe not. Maybe it's a tourist's first stop on the Pennsylvania Turnpike.
That's overly ambitious too? Okay, we'll try again.
Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," a site that's more popular than Francis the Talking Mule movies!
Please, if you're a Francis fan, don't disrespect me. I love that smart-talkin' jackass, and he is just never on the tube anymore. Forget finding him on VHS or DVD. What a loss to our society!
Today's topic: A tired rant, so I'll be brief.
SUPERBOWL HALFTIME WISH LIST
I would rather see Janet Jackson's knockers than the Rolling Stones. I would rather listen to a medley of Lawrence Welk's Greatest Hits than the Rolling Stones. I heard two dozen frightful singers on American Idol that I'd rather see than the Rolling Stones.
Geez, I could kvetch all day on this. The only person who fails to beat the Stones on my halftime wish-list is Billy Joel.
This is not because I'm some freshly-minted specimen, steeped to the gills in hip-hop and garage bands.
I can remember Mick and Keith in the day. And just let me say, that day was deep in the last century. There are people out there with grandchildren who weren't even born the first time Mick and Keith gigged before a big audience.
So, would someone please tell these formaldehyde-fueled has-beens to retreat to their castles in Transylvania and let someone else entertain us?
I vote for the peerless University of Michigan Marching Band.
Or, if your tastes run solely to 1960s-era rock groups that have lasted and thrived into the new millennium, then bring on The Residents. Early in their band's career the members decided to wear big eyeballs and skull faces at every concert. Even people who work with them aren't sure what they look like.
Okay, so The Residents haven't left behind as much DNA as Mick Jagger, but you can't see what's going on under a big eyeball mask. And what's going on is the MARCH OF TIME.
Mick. Keith. Are they real, or are they Memorex?
THE MERLIN OF BERKELEY SPRINGS
DVD Recommendation: Wormwood, by The Residents, 2006. A fresh treatment of the Old Testament in avant-garde rock. Soon to be banned by a church near you!