Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," where it's dusk at 4:30, and that feels completely appropriate.
You ever get in a mood where you start wondering about a bunch of weird stuff?
1. I wonder if vultures are always hungry when they're flying. Do they ever just soar for the fun of it, or is there always intention behind it?
2. Why do they put commercials for prescription drugs on t.v.? They didn't do that when I was a kid, and people got sick then too. Every time I hear one of those commercials, I swear never to take the drug ... do you listen to those side effects?
3. Why do my hands feel so grimy after a day teaching school?
4. Which bored deity sees to it that you're never home when the FedEx guy has something you have to sign for?
5. Wouldn't it be nice if you could stash romantic love in a jar and stow it away somewhere, and when you were depressed, you could get the jar out and let a little out into the air? Even if you weren't the intended target of the romantic love, wouldn't it be fun to see two chipmunks suddenly stop hauling acorns and start rolling together on the lawn?
6. You know those people who don't seem to have any problems? I'd like to get them really drunk and press them on it. At least if it's true that they don't have problems, they'd still feel shitty and hungover the next morning ... a small victory for the troubled amongst us.
THE MERLIN (IN ABSENTIA) OF BERKELEY SPRINGS