Wednesday, December 03, 2008

A Few Things Anne Wonders About...


Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," where it's dusk at 4:30, and that feels completely appropriate.

You ever get in a mood where you start wondering about a bunch of weird stuff?

1. I wonder if vultures are always hungry when they're flying. Do they ever just soar for the fun of it, or is there always intention behind it?

2. Why do they put commercials for prescription drugs on t.v.? They didn't do that when I was a kid, and people got sick then too. Every time I hear one of those commercials, I swear never to take the drug ... do you listen to those side effects?

3. Why do my hands feel so grimy after a day teaching school?

4. Which bored deity sees to it that you're never home when the FedEx guy has something you have to sign for?

5. Wouldn't it be nice if you could stash romantic love in a jar and stow it away somewhere, and when you were depressed, you could get the jar out and let a little out into the air? Even if you weren't the intended target of the romantic love, wouldn't it be fun to see two chipmunks suddenly stop hauling acorns and start rolling together on the lawn?

6. You know those people who don't seem to have any problems? I'd like to get them really drunk and press them on it. At least if it's true that they don't have problems, they'd still feel shitty and hungover the next morning ... a small victory for the troubled amongst us.

FROM ANNE
THE MERLIN (IN ABSENTIA) OF BERKELEY SPRINGS

9 comments:

sageweb said...

Oh I ouwld love a jar full of romantic love..what a great idea.

Emily Lilly said...

For #2:

They changed the advertising laws a few years ago. That accounts for the difference over time.

Have you noticed how much you have to _pay_ for the drugs you see advertised on TV and other media sources?!? One reason is that the drug company shells out so much for the advertising. So, our health system involves extremely expensive drugs, because the drug companies are spending so much to convince people that they need the drugs.

Am I the only one who has a problem with this?

yellowdog granny said...

i'd like a jar full of laughter..laughs from your kids when they were little, your parents laughter, people that have gone to the goddess, people laughing at the carol burnett show..just a jar full of laughs..get sad..open up the jar and hear them laugh...

Lavanah said...

Can I have a jar of each?

THE Michael said...

I'd settle for a stick of lust right now........

THE Michael said...

To answer your questions......

1. Vultures are hungry when flying because they do not have full bellies weighing them down.

2. They sell prescription drugs on TV because they want you to bug your doctor into prescribing them for you rather than having your doctor diagnosing a problem which requires the drug, which doesn't sell they drug.

3. What kind of school IS this?

4. I think that one is Serendipity......I could be wrong.......

5. Romantic love requires storage at -450 Kelvin in a lead lined jar, which would kill any nearby chipmunks.

6. The key word here is "seem".

Graeme K Talboys said...

4 is just part of the Fedex training regime. 'Lurk until recipient leaves house. Then try to deliver.'

Anne Johnson said...

The school is just an ordinary high school, just a little older than many. Somehow my hands always feel dirty at the end of the day. I'm not OCD or anything, I just think the old building must be dusty or something. And there's always chalk.

mama kelly said...

Oh what I would give for a jar of romantic love and/or lust to be applied as needed.

Really miss those warm and fuzzy feeling from when I was young.