Welcome to "The Buzzards Are Best!" I'm head priestess, Annie, a.k.a. Buzzy!
Every year on March 15, the enlightened citizens of Hinckley, Ohio celebrate the return of vultures to their hamlet. This incursion of Sacred Thunderbirds is Hinckley's sign that spring has sprung. They throw a big bash (well, actually a little bash, it's a small town).
Hinckley is the only place in America that has a sacred site dedicated to vultures, with a sign and everything. I have made my pilgrimage there (1983) and am therefore cleared for heaven.
So today is Buzzard Day. Spend it wisely. Throw a rack of spare ribs into a field. Not too close to the road, though. You don't want some bored god to be flattened by a 16-wheeler.
O ye Sacred Thunderbirds! O ye Mecca of same, Hinckley, Ohio!
Our operators are standing by to take your call.
Labels: buzzard worship