Monday, July 24, 2006

Bumper Sticker Shock


Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" When we first met this charming little fellow, his eyes were still closed and he was the size of a gerbil.

We named him "Casey Jones" because someone left him on a railroad track, figuring he'd be good in a global warming commercial.

Could you have reared this lil' kitty and then turned him over for adoption? No? Well then, you're normal. Those of us who work in ag make good foster parents for just about any animal. We bond, but we don't bond.

You've gotta be in ag to understand.

I was over at Interroblog the other day. This deep-thinking blogger had posted a bumper sticker she saw on a car. To whit:

ANNOY A LIBERAL
WORK HARD AND BE HAPPY

Gosh, did you know conservatives are happy? I'm shocked and amazed. All they do is complain, complain, complain. Whereas we polytheistic liberals here at "The Gods Are Bored" just exude happiness from every pore! (We work middling hard.)

This cheerful bumper sticker reminds us of one we once saw outside the local Methodist church. To whit:

APRIL 1
NATIONAL ATHEISTS DAY

Whoa, that's harsh. When was the last time you saw a bumper sticker that said:

CHRISTIANS ARE STUPID

Which is exactly what the "April 1" bumper sticker says.

I've always felt that, if I couldn't be a goat judge, I'd like to write bumper sticker slogans. For instance, I'd like to drive through the American heartland with a bumper sticker that says:

HONK IF YOU THINK JESUS WAS GAY

I'll bet I could drive like Mad Max, right through Mississippi, running every red light, and never get so much as a peep from my fellow drivers. I'll bet even the cops wouldn't pull me over. Of course, when I ran out of gas, I might have trouble finding a filling station where I could safely re-stock.

As for "Annoy a Liberal," well. This one just begs to be mocked. For one thing, it's so doggone limpid. Try this on for size:

ANNOY A CONSERVATIVE
TAKE HIS GUNS, HIS RADIO, AND HIS PIT BULL

(gender specific language intended)

ANNOY A CONSERVATIVE
ADMNISTER HIS IQ TEST

I suggested that one at Interroblog.

ANNOY A CONSERVATIVE
EMPLOY HIS WIFE

ANNOY A CONSERVATIVE
DRAFT HIM

This one's not very creative, but I'm running out of steam:

ANNOY A CONSERVATIVE
SAVE THE WHALES

Wait a minute. Second wind:

FAVOR UNCARING CORPORATE KILLERS
HELL, YES, I'M CONSERVATIVE

Just can't resist a big closing here:

RUSH IS AN OXYMORON

From the happy, working liberal. Laughing through the Apocalypse.

FROM ANNE
THE MERLIN OF BERKELEY SPRINGS
AREA 14, STAR 14

7 comments:

olive said...

I got my bumperstickers from northernsun, which I recommend.

Here's another idea.

WAL-MART NEEDS WELFARE
more than its workers!!

Hecate said...

Annoy a conservative. Study science.

Annoy a conservative. Revere the Constitution.

Annoy a conservative. Balance the budget.

Annoy a conservative. Get the government out of your personal life.

Annoy a conservative. Protect the First Amendment as vigorously as the second.

Annoy a conservative. Enjoy sex

Interrobang said...

Annoy a conservative, say "Well-regulated militia."

Annoy a conservative -- promote a black lesbian over him.

Annoy a conservative -- read the Interroblog. ;)

Thanks for the link, Anne, but that wasn't my sticker -- someone named Snow saw it, so you should probably correct it. There's a link to Snow's original in my post.

Tennessee Jed said...

RUSH IS AN OXYMORON

He-He, I like that one!

Rubicon said...

Annoy a conservative: Be Canadian \o/

Raevyn said...

HA!!! Rubi, that RAWKS!!! Did she mention also that the nutbar that's running our country is also Conservative??

Interrobang said...

Raevyn, I have done, although not in that post. I haven't quite figured out what it would take to annoy Stephen The Smirking Corpse Harper yet, but when I do, I intend to make a part-time job of it. *grin*