My Very Famous and Influential Cat

 Hi there, “Gods Are Bored” peeps! It’s me, Anne Johnson. Don’t leave that “e” off the end of my name. It’s posh!

I have to put the photos at the top, because I am still using my phone to do this.

This is my cat, Omega, aka Taffy the Boardwalk Cat. She is on page 42 in the just-released, soon-to-be bestseller “How to Rate a Cat.” Look! There she is, with a solid rating of 1000/10 for her Jersey Shore cattitude!

I entered Omega in an online contest with a cat influencer, and lo, she got chosen! It went to her head before the cheery little tome was published last week, and since the volume has arrived she has been insufferable.

Then again, this is a feline who puts the suffer in insufferable, so it’s hard to tell whether fame has changed her or not.

The Cat Distribution System saw fit to stick me with this animal after my dear Gamma cat crossed the Rainbow Bridge, leaving behind a hole in my heart and a floor needing repair in numerous corners. Omega did indeed come from the Jersey Shore, Neptune, NJ specifically. She is exceedingly tidy in her bathroom habits (something I sure was ready for), but she’s cuddly as a rock pile. Doesn’t even know how to make biscuits.

And while dear Gamma was nothing less than a trophy cat, 16 pounds of luscious orange floof, Omega is just one wacky white package flecked with tabby spots. But it is the name and that goofy appearance that got her noticed by a premiere Internet influencer!

I can’t put more than one photo on a post using my phone, but the title of the beguiling little book, again, is “How to Rate a Cat.” And the beauty of its publication history is that my cranky feline is in it, but I don’t have to promote it. I can just sit back and peruse page 42.

Her blog name is Omega because I hope she will avoid my caresses and bite my knuckles until my days of cat stewardship end. She is three years old, and I can add.

All hail Taffy the Boardwalk Cat, page 42! I’m proud of the little wretch.