In Which I Report a Rogue Teacher in Narrows, Virginia to the Governor of That State

 Hey, fans! Do you remember when the worst thing about the Commie governments was that they encouraged citizens to snitch on other citizens who were thought to be "subversive?"

Wait. You're not that old? Well, trust me that it's a thing we elementary kids learned about in Social Studies when we were taught about Communist China and the Soviet Union.

The idea of citizen espionage sounded bad in 1966, and it sounds bad now. How awful to live under a regime that would target certain people (almost always intellectuals, teachers, and writers) and persecute them as enemies of the state!

Welcome to Virginia in 2022.

The newly-elected Republican governor of the state has created a special email box for people to report public school teachers who are teaching "critical race theory" or other curricula that makes white students feel bad about themselves.

It's a public email that anyone can write to.

Of course they are asking correspondents to be serious and not to send frivolous emails.

And of course this stricture is being completely ignored.

Someone reported Professor Dumbledore for punishing students who discriminate against mudbloods.

Gods bless America.

However, it's not enough for us here at "The Gods Are Bored" to let other people sneer at authoritarian regimes. So I went to my email address that I keep just for these types of correspondences, and I penned a little note to Virginia. I titled the email REPORTING A ROGUE TEACHER IN NARROWS, VA. Here's the text:

I'm a 63-year-old teacher of English at the high school level. When I was a kid in school, our nation had two enemies: Communist China and the Soviet Union. What we as students were chiefly told was that those societies were evil because they encouraged citizens to "report" other citizens for subversive behavior. Gosh, everyone thought that was awful. Just think, ordinary people spying on each other!

But isn't this tipline exactly that? A tool of an authoritarian regime? It has always been the goal of fascist governments to be thought police and to subvert intellectual advancement. Welcome to the club.

I was just kidding about the Narrows, VA part. My grandparents lived there for awhile. I'm in New Jersey, and so far as I'm concerned, Virginia is off the tourism table as long as you are encouraging people to persecute school teachers.

Anne Johnson

I would have liked to be wittier, but I figured all the good literary allusions had probably already been flung.

I'll bet you would like to report a rogue teacher yourself, wouldn't you? All you'll need is the address and a map of the state, so you can pick out some cute little mountain town to mention in the tagline.

And here's the address:

helpeducation@governor.virginia.gov

Tell them Anne Johnson sent you.