One of the pleasures of summer vacation is my ability to sit out on my front porch with my breakfast and the paper edition of the New York Times. Usually I position my chair so that I can't see the monstrous rich-people houses across the street.
But over the weekend The Heir and The Fair both came for Father's Day, and we all sat out on the porch (it's big) at a social distance. So my favorite chair is still turned so it faces sideways, and I can see across the street.
This morning, as I was taking my tea, I saw the 3-year-old across the street shove down his pajama pants, whip out his junk, and piss on the flower bed. Now, I know, kids will be kids. But there were two adults on the porch, and they ignored the kid and just let his actions pass without any comment.
Yeah, kids will be kids. But there are fucking 5 bathrooms in that house. How far from the front door can one of them be?
When I notice at all, I am aware that a certain permissiveness pervades both new households across the street, but especially the one where the kid was watering the flowers.
Again -- little boys (never girls ... need I say more?) sometimes do such things. And adults can be indulgent. But they should have said something. I mean, gently?
But this is symbolic of what this little white boy with 5 bathrooms is going to grow up to be. He won't have to challenge authority, because he will be the authority. What he wants to do, he'll do. He's yet another Future Kavanaugh of America.
And yes, I am deeply prejudiced against his family. I hear the parents work hard. If they do, it's not in a meat-packing plant.
Oh yeah, it was the kid's 3rd birthday last week, and the parents paid to have their whole front porch swathed in balloons, some of which came loose and wound up in my yard. No big deal, right? Except shouldn't they pick up after themselves? Do you let your trash blow across your neighbor's yards?
Eat. The. Rich.
6 comments:
Eat the Rich. They might be too fatty and indigestible. Maybe they would make good jerky.
Eating them would probably lead to vomiting them back up. Is it possible that they won't let the kid in the house to use the bathroom? I've seen that situation a couple of times. People put the kids out in the morning and don't let them back in until evening. Or maybe they think it's funny when he pees outside. People are strange.
Love,
Janie
Oh well, at least the brat isn't peeing on YOUR flower beds. Although that may come once he's old enough to cross the street on his own, LOL!
JFC, what assholes your neighbors be!
I did this when I was 3. I was trying to help the flowers. My mother gently explained that I was more likely to kill them that way. I didn't do it again, and I didn't grow up to be a Kavanaugh. But then, this was an apartment behind a general store, not a House of Many Potties.
You know, my little brother used to pee in the garden all the time. Because he was terrified of toilets. So, while he was toilet training, all the trees in the garden got 'watered'. Especially the lemon tree (apparently it's good for them?)
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