Tuesday, January 30, 2018

President Anne Johnson's First State of the Union Address

Members of both houses of Congress, the United States Supreme Court, the Joint Chiefs of Staff, sitting members of the Cabinet, diplomatic corps, and my fellow Americans,

My name is Anne Johnson. I have been appointed to serve out the remainder of the term of presidency that would have fallen to Donald J. Trump. This is my first State of the Union Address.

I am going to ask you to do something, Congress. For this one bright, shining moment, none of you know anything about me. You have no idea what my policies will be or how I will act in office, and therefore in this one brief click of time, none of you know whether you will cheer me and shower me with standing ovations, or sit on your hands and scowl.

Wouldn't it be nice to keep that moment and live within it for awhile?

Because that, my friends, is exactly what we need. We've got to step back, acknowledge philosophical differences respectfully, and dedicate ourselves to working together for all citizens.

Nothing will ever get done if two sides both entrench and legislate by fiat when they find themselves in power. All you'll have is a sea change in policy every four years.

How about we try a new tactic? Let's bring some sanity and decorum back to this chamber. Let's take a deep breath and see if we couldn't possibly work together for the greater good.

Look at that! You're all applauding! It's a good idea, isn't it? I like it too.

Now, here is the part of the speech where the president gets down to brass tacks and starts crowing about last year's accomplishments and planning next year's, with an eye to the voting base and the party. I'm not going to do that. I'm a blank slate, remember?

Here's a novel idea: Go put your heads together and bring me some good ideas! I have no voting base to please, because I wasn't elected! I'm open to any reasonable, judicious, thoughtful, and sober suggestion, so long as it will make Americans better off than they are now.

There's one word I want to leave you with, my fellow Americans. That word is temperance. This past year, we have been sadly lacking the temperance and reserve necessary to do the important job of running the country. We are going to dial down the drama and look at this task as something that professionals do.

Temperance. If there's anything I've learned from my previous work experience as a school teacher, it's that nothing gets done when the heat is turned up and the voices go shrill. But if we keep things reasonable and respectful, if we converse with humility, we can restore this democracy to health.

Thank you, and Gods bless America!


Debra She Who Seeks said...

I bet Joe Kennedy III came up and gave you a hug afterwards!

Anne Johnson said...

You mean Joey the Trump-Slayer? He's my new crush.

anne marie in philly said...

you make more sense than the orange shitball!

Davoh said...

No voting base to please???
Sheesh ... you really do have to learn that Goergle, Farcebook, and Wonderingdows .. have to be 'on yer side'.

Ferget about traditional, sensible bureaucracy.

O, and it also helps to live in a country (Nation?) where voting is "optional". Who really knows what "Media Star" will be your next 'popular' 'President' - especially if the poor and downtrodden are so depressed that they cannot be bothered to vote.

Davoh said...

Seriously ... from my peculiar 'southern hemisphere' point of view (Australia has 'mandatory' voting - for every citizen) Doesn't mean that each and EVERY citizen casts a vote - but 90% of us do.

Bit different when i look at the 'numbers' in the so-called American "democracy". Forgetting that 60% of the population actually voted -
31% of 60% is not exactly a 'majority' ... but how come (from what have been told) ... Hillary Clinton gained - what? 3 million MORE of your so called "popular" votes ---
and yet Donald Trump ended up as your President???

Probably paraphrasing Shakespeare ... ' but something is rotten in the State of .... " .... meh.

Anne Johnson said...

Davoh, our earliest leaders were afraid that majorities living in cities would always elect the politicians (standard majority rule), so they set up a system called the electoral college, where you vote for the candidate but someone from your state ... sort of ... representing you gets to cast the actual vote. It seemed sensible and fair at the time. Now, not so much.

Davoh said...

Yer, Anne we are also familiar with the word "gerrymander" .. meh.
I do try to keep up with what's happening over on your side of this planet. Mostly through PBS Newshour ... and a rather raucous larrikin TV program here called "Planet America" .. which looks very deeply into some of the pertinent 'facts' about the "untied states of America" ... no bullshit, no 'spin' ... heh.

On another note ... self wonders what the USA would be like if - as in Australia - the "leader" in your 'lower house'(?) of congress was, actually, the most powerful politician ???
No erstatz, part-time (4-8 years) kingships ... meh.

Seriously, our Federal Prime Ministers ARE vulnerable, accountable to the electorate. They stay there as long as we, the people, want them to be.

Davoh said...

o, perhaps a bit more detail. When i refer to the "leader" in the 'lower house' ... i mean the 'leader' of the 'party' that holds the most seats in the 'peoples parliament'. Yep, we also have a 'senate' - house of review. (which seems to consist, here, with a random bunch of elected ratbags .... but who, eventually, allow sensible 'laws' through).

Davoh said...

o, apologies for bothering you again .. But have recently watched a dvd from the local library - "the Day after Tomorrow" ... made somewhere near the year 2000 - which - apart from the extreme CGI almost predicted the extreme, recent, "cold dump" on North America.
One of the ironic joys in that movie -- is that Mexico had to cope with millions of North American 'climate change' refugees. Even your 'President" had to re-locate ... heh heh heh...

Davoh said...

O, Anne .. i don't normally put 'links' in comments ..buuut ..

Davoh said...

or this .. and have not the slightest idea whether you are 'allowed' to see it in your sort of ersatz 'dictatorsheep'.


Davoh said...