Sunday, April 09, 2017

Palm Sunday Jackass

I'm sure you've noticed. People who drive luxury cars are more reckless than people who don't. They're more likely to run a red light and to speed on the expressway. It's entitlement, of course. The fact that they deserve such a nice vehicle also means that they deserve to get where they're going faster than the rest of us.

This morning my daughter The Spare and I went out for a little tootle in my 2001 Saturn, which belonged to my dear mother-in-law before it came to me. I have a whole philosophy of driving. First of all, no matter how slow you go, it always beats walking ... so why hurry? Second of all, the good state of New Jersey posts signs telling you how fast to go, and if there's a single house on the street where you're driving, the limit is likely 25. At best, 35.

As I said, Spare and I were tootling along, in an ancient and sputtering machine, when suddenly a gleaming black Lexus passed us on the right on a two-lane road!

"Jesus!" Spare exclaimed, rather taken aback.

"What a douchebag!" I responded helpfully.

Then, as befits the slight differences in our worldview, Spare complained about men and I complained about rich people. (She's a feminist, I'm a socialist.)

We watched this luxury automobile as it tailgated the next car on the road, a car that was no doubt minding the speed limit the way I was.

And then the entitled driver reached his destination: a church. He fairly leaped into the parking lot.

I looked at the clock in my Saturn. 5:00. (I can't get the Saturn's clock to work. It's always either five or six hours fast.)

Of course. Palm Sunday. The entitled driver was rushing to Mass! Jesus likes his rich people to be on time to church!

I believe that Jesus was a historical figure. I also believe he thought he was the Messiah. I believe the account of Palm Sunday that is in the Bible, and the crucifixion too.

I also believe that Jesus disdained the rich. His followers included well-off intellectuals (How else would we know about him?) but consisted mainly of ordinary, everyday kinds of people. Those people, and Jesus himself, would be flabbergasted to see what passes for a Christian these days.

This is the holy week of the bored Goddess Eostre the Christian calendar, so what better time to take a barometric reading of American Christianity? It's a topic I've explored at vast length over the years at The Gods Are Bored, but it never gets old. It only gets scarier.

One Christian got his butt into a pew on Palm Sunday by driving with reckless disregard for the other people on the road. Hallelujah! The jackass is important to the narrative.

13 comments:

Birdie said...

I love this post.

Why?

1. I drive a 1997 Toyota Corolla

2. I had an enititled driver pass me tailgate me almost all the way up my street last week. I was going about 5 km. over the speed limit which is still too slow in most people's minds. She then passed on the right when a pedestrian was crossing on a crosswalk and honked at me. Fucking bitch. I was so mad, I followed her for enough time to put the fear of God into her. She waved apologetically after several blocks. It felt good. You don't know me at all but I have never done this. Something in me snapped. For the record, I didn't tailgate, yell out my window or even flip her the bird. I just followed her for a few minutes. And she knew it. Please don't think I'm a mean and horrible person. It is only about 1% of me.

3. I have never had a speeding ticket. I've never even been pulled over. Because? I don't speed! (Fist bump to you for not speeding.)

4. I am a proud Socialist as well. And a pacifist but you would not know that based on the 1% of me in #2.

5. I also believe we would be causing Jesus to grieve in the way we live now. For so many reasons but most of all Christians thinking it's their God given right to be wealthy. And if you a a Christian and not wealthy you either have sin in your life or have lack of faith.

6. My car's clock is always 4 minutes fast. I set it and within a few minutes it's 4 minutes fast again. Not ever anymore or less.


Davoh said...

Um, since the real name of the updated Roman god "Jesus" was actually a person by the name of Yeshua ben Yosefh ... and very peeved by the Roman occupation of his homeland Judea ... but insisted on "peaceful, civilian" disobedience to the 'occupation' forces - am not surprised that the Roman Imperial military forces wanted him dead.

Davoh said...

(the priesthood on Mons Vaticanus were very clever, politically. The Roman Empire was failing, militarily. The slaves and 'common' peoples were beginning to wonder about the "Executive" Elites ..

Why not 're-invent' a belief that could encompass ALL. Not only give permission for the peasants to believe in themselves; but also re-inforce the primacy of Imperial Rome?

Davoh said...

.. and the other word that peeves me is the word 'catholic'. In Latin it means 'universal'. Fascinating when one knows that when the ROMAN Catholic 'religion' began ... they had no concept that the Southern Hemisphere even existed, much less that the earth revolved around the sun.

Davoh said...

Hey, Spare ... men go to Mars, women go to Venus (wry grin).

Bob Slatten said...

I guess if you kill someone on the way to Mass God looks the other way?

Debra She Who Seeks said...

The clock in my car is always set to Daylight Savings Time so YAY! It is accurate for the next 6 months!

e said...

Fucking entitled christians. There is a lot of shit to be laid at their door. True for all religions, yes, but those hypocritical christians are among the most egregious. Ugh.

Also, my ancient vehicle was at the shop recently and had the battery out. That means that I had to reset the damned clock!

Janie Junebug said...

I drive a 1999 Nissan Sentra (runs perfectly because my son is a mechanic). On February 24 of this year, I was headed to the credit union. I needed to change lanes. I looked and saw a kind of silverish car in the right lane, but I had plenty of room to move over. I signaled, started to make the move, and wham! the silverish car hit the shit out of the right rear quarter of my car. He was driving a Jaguar. I know he sped up when I moved over, but I got a ticket (my first ever) for being in HIS lane. His name was Tex--his actual first name. I won't reveal the rest. I take some comfort in the $1,000+ payment I received from my insurance company, of which I've spent about $200 because my son is repairing my car. I'm sure it's much more expensive and difficult to repair the Jaguar. I drove away from the accident. Tex needed a tow.

Love,
Janie

JACKIESUE said...

Im a pagan and I would have had the same reaction as both of you..ha

anne marie in philly said...

"People who drive luxury cars are more reckless than people who don't." - RAMEN; total assholes!

"Spare complained about men and I complained about rich people. (She's a feminist, I'm a socialist.)" - I complain about both; fucking asshole rich white male!

"And then the entitled driver reached his destination: a church. He fairly leaped into the parking lot." - oh yeah, such a good xstain! did jeebus tell him to run other people off the road?

"I looked at the clock in my Saturn. 5:00. (I can't get the Saturn's clock to work. It's always either five or six hours fast.)" - the clock in my 2001 hyundai elantra is 3 hours fast; I can't fix it.

I am an atheist; this week means nothing to me, except for a zitners buttercreme egg.

Debi said...

" Feminist & Socialist". I'd rather hear more about the adventures of thes two! I am repulsed by organized anything, old men, and materialism , so huge hugs girls! ❤️👌😂

Davoh said...

Um, on the other hand (or other side of this planet) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C4%92ostre
Eostre is a Festival goddess, for the season "spring" - rebirth and renewal.