Friday, December 02, 2016

The All-American First Cavalry Amazon Battalion

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," with malice toward none ... oh, hell. Who am I kidding? Sometimes the world calls upon you to have attitude. It just does.

And perhaps since I'm feeling so bellicose lately, I received a visit today from the Great Goddess Tabiti, sacred to the Scythians and all Amazon warrior women!


Tabiti actually came because I called Her. In fact, I am petitioning Her as I once did Cloacina. Desperate times call for all the Goddess power readily available!

Maybe you have heard that there is going to be a Women's March on Washington on January 21, 2017. I have already made plans to attend, along with Heir and Spare. The current number of attendees is 100,000 -- but that's just people who clicked a button on Facebook. My guess is that this march could bring five times that many women to town.

Word of this activity has reached across the news spectrum, finally filtering its way down into the cesspit occupied by the old fartbag named Rush Limbaugh.

Rush couldn't resist. He called the march "The All-American First Cavalry Amazon Battalion," and suggested that the women in attendance would synchronize their periods so as to be bleeding all together on that day.

Ask any Amazon, and she will tell you: When your enemies mock you, cleave them in twain with a battleaxe. Having accomplished that, take anything they have of worth and use it against their tribe.

I asked the Goddess Tabiti what she thought of All-American First Cavalry Amazon Battalion, and she said it sounded wonderful ... noble ... powerful. I agree! Traditional Amazon women were badass as fuck! They wore tattoos and smoked weed and lived in a society where everyone wore pants. Makes you pine for antiquity, doesn't it?

To my veteran and new readers, take heed. I, Anne Johnson, have been named a lieutenant in the All-American First Cavalry Amazon Battalion. I take my commission from Tabiti herself. On January 21, 2017 I will obey the call to march. And you're gonna hear me roar.

12 comments:

anne marie in philly said...

as a woman who cannot participate in the march due to health complications, please march for me and FUCK THE WHITE MALE RULE!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Ma'am, Yes Ma'am! At dawn we ride! Although, technically, as a Canadian Amazon, I'll just be watching on TV across the border and cheering you on. But still!

JACKIESUE said...

I'd give my right tit(so I can be a real amazon) to be able to go to the march..trying to figure out the bus fair to get there and back..and you need to call on Freya too..her motto is if you can't lay em slay em.

Janie Junebug said...

Thank you for attending. I wish I could go, but you will be there for all of us. My daughter went to a women's march on Washington when she was a senior in high school (2004). Hillary Clinton was one of the speakers. My daughter said she was dazzling.

Love,
Janie

Anti Kate said...

I can't make the march, but I want to enlist! Is there an oath?

mshatch said...

I would be proud to be called an Amazon Warrior. Sorta shows how ignorant Rush is.

e said...

I'm in!

I'll be marching in Portland, Oregon -- city of unending protest marches!

Toni said...

Definitely going to march somewhere but need to find other west coast Amazons!

NPR used a phrase regarding the Donald: "...flexible relationship with the truth...."

Spot on.

Love your blog.

Anne Johnson said...

What a capital idea! We need an oath! I'm on it.

Plowing Through Life (Martha) said...

I love that you're doing this! I'm a Canadian Amazon like Debra. And I'm proud to say that I raised two of my own. They'll keep paving the way!

Debi said...

Neighbour in northern Ontario Canada! March On! I am struggling everyday on HOW this got so out of control ? The insane logic , FACTS, truth? Integrity, RESPECT for the highest office of responsibility in your country has been handed over to the idiots! Does no one take bees to history ? Even 8 years under Bush & Cheney? Recent history for those who only survive on that.

This March will be HERSTORICAL! Her ENERGY will fill the atmosphere ! Our hearts beat as one! xo🙋💕🇨🇦

Davoh said...

Um, as a mere, pinkish hued male of European heritage (firmly planted in this astonishing 'make it up as we go along' Island Continent) ... do you mind if i keep my trousers on? ('tis easier to surreptitiously take a piss while marching en masse).