Thursday, October 03, 2013

Wrath of the Bored Gods

The bored gods have spoken. I am not to do Extra Chair's assignments for her, no matter how dim-witted they are.

I've been sick all week with a dreadful head cold. The symptoms began on Sunday afternoon. Now it's Thursday, and I'm just starting to feel better.

The bored gods are brilliant. They made me just so sick that my work was hell, and I crashed in a heap the moment I came home. But They didn't make me so sick that I couldn't go to work.

For those of you who believe that head colds are caused by breathing in viruses from someone who sneezes, have you no faith? The bored gods want me to be honest. They are correct. Lesson learned.

Some time within the next week I will be writing the 2,000th entry here at The Gods Are Bored. Oh my bored gods! Should I interview a deity? Offer up some frank talk on lingerie for parrots? Pay homage to the Spare? Salute the faeries? Or should I dig a little deeper for that essential insight on the Bill of Rights? I haven't poked fun at Cindy Jacobs and her Christian militants for awhile, but that's because I saw a video of Cindy in which she rambled about Leviathan, insulted every other religion that ever was, and drooled like a quaalude abuser. She's her own worst enemy. She doesn't need me.

I haven't devoted much time to right-wing radio lately. But here's a quickie: I can only listen in 30-second bursts, but the half minute I got yesterday was some woman complaining bitterly about having to purchase health insurance. "I never get sick," she ranted. "I haven't been sick a day in my life. I haven't ever seen a doctor! Why do I need health insurance?"

An excellent question! Flawless logic, right? She's never been sick, so she'll never get sick. Maybe if we exempted people who never got sick and never will, we could lose this gridlock in Washington, DC that is depriving me of the opportunity to go to Independence Hall. But I think the accent ought to be on the and never will part. Sign on the dotted line ... "I will never ever ever get sick, and if I do, I won't need a doctor or any medicine."

So many morons, so little time.

6 comments:

Totally Not The Spare said...

Pay homage to The Spare!!! ;)

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Lingerie for parrots please! Decibel needs some action!

JACKIESUE said...

how is Mark? I never heard back from you on the blog..which is probably just as well as I'm up to my ass in alligators.

Anonymous said...

The "I never get sick, so other people shouldn't have access to medical care" attitude pisses me right off.

How can you be that selfish, oblivious, and obtuse? The Grim Reaper comes for us all, one way or the other, no matter how much you believe in JEEE-SUS or money or material objects or whatever the stone you have in place of a heart idolizes.

Aahhh! Thanks for letting me vent.

Superyards said...

The gods might be bored but I'm not. Thank you for an interesting post. Wonder how long the gridlock could go on.

Horace Boothroyd III said...

Quaalude abusers drool? Surely, we live in an age of miracles and wonders.