I think everyone ought to practice a religion that allows for a little hate, so long as it doesn't harm anyone. It's enormously difficult to love everyone all the time. As for that part about hate being bad for you, as in making you stressed or sick? Well, I'm not talking about being a seething ball of unrelenting hatred. I'm talking about taking a genuine look at some people and having a healthy dose of dislike.
I don't have to want to inflict physical or emotional damage on people just because I hate them. However, I believe it is actually healthy to admit that you hate someone. If you ask me, it's more stressful to find love in your heart when there isn't any, and shouldn't be any. Rational people will inevitably find certain individuals to be worthy of hatred. To me, that is perfectly okay. Just don't release the hounds.
Case in point: There is a married couple, man and wife, who are related somehow to one of my brothers-in-law. Every time we have a family party, this couple comes to it. They have been coming to every family get-together for 23 years. And they drink heavily.
As with anyone who drinks heavily, eventually these people get loud and lose track of politeness.
This past weekend Mr. J and I, Heir and Spare, and Extra Chair went to a family gathering. As usual, the repellant couple was there. As usual, drinking heavily.
Late in the afternoon, the female portion of this couple, when introduced to Extra Chair, began grilling EC on forced abortions in China. As you might recall, Extra Chair is a Chinese exchange student who is boarding with us. Before we could stop the hard-drinking female, she had shrilly peppered poor Chair with nasty questions about Chair's native land. Chair is 16.
Can you imagine being taken to task for your country's political positions as a teenager, in a language you don't entirely understand? Now, reader, let me ask you. Would you pose hard questions about Chinese public policy to an exchange student who was just standing there, minding her own business, awkward to begin with?
I hate this couple. I hate this woman. I hated her before this past weekend, and I hate her now. My reasons for hating her extend beyond her bad behavior toward Extra Chair. In my judgment, she and her husband pose a threat to my brother-in-law's safety.
Notice a few things about this hatred:
1. I am not asking anyone else to hate these people.
2. I am not obsessed with them.
3. I do not wish them harm, nor would I inflict harm upon them. Hatred does not presuppose bad behavior.
I spent about 50 miles of I-95 apologizing to Extra Chair for the drunken tirade she experienced at our so-called lovely family get-together. She was very kind about it and said it didn't bother her. Well, it bothered me. I might not like or agree with Chinese public policy, or how the country provides for its citizenry, but I'm not going to expect Extra Chair to understand her homeland's woes or fix them. She just needs to read The Great Gatsby.
Yes, I'm a hater. No, I don't think it's bad, so long as no one gets hurt and the furniture doesn't get stained. Feel free to argue with me in the comment thread. I speak only for myself and a few warlike bored gods.