Monday, May 05, 2008

Sorry You Can't Reach Me, Trinity Evangelical. Leave a Message.

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" A chicken in every pot, a cat in every lap. Life is good!

Jason at The Wild Hunt publishes an excellent web log of Pagan news and philosophy. He's as serious as I am frivolous, so I therefore visit him often just for a reality check.

On May 3, Jason wrote a post about an upcoming evangelical conference being held at Trinity International University. The title of the conference is:

"Trinity Consultation on Post-Christendom Spiritualities: The New Unreached People Groups."

Here's the description, in case you want to make a reservation:

"The conference will be a gathering of practitioners and scholars addressing the decline of Christianity in the West and the concomitant growth of new unreached people groups expressed in religions and spiritualities such as modern Paganism, New Age, and other alternative spiritualities. Plenary sessions and parallel workshops will address the topics of the future of religion in the West, the make up of the alternative religious marketplace and approaches in engaging adherents of alternative spiritualities."

I've had some pejoratives hurled at me now and again, but I don't think I've ever been as insulted as to hear myself styled a member of an "unreached people group."

Well gee. This is the 21st century. "Unreached people group" sounds so user-friendly. Pagans are only "adherents of alternative spiritualities" because they're unreached. If you just reach them, they'll jump on the Jesus train, glad to have been reached, just as some poor miner stuck in a collapse would be glad to be reached. Just as some dear granny stuck in a burning rowhouse would be glad to be reached. Just as you can't wait for your destination to be reached after a long road trip.

One of our pet peeves here at TGAB is the untiring Christian missionary who ventures to the far corners of the globe to bring the message of Jesus Christ to the "unreached." Where have these missionaries not gone? Who in the Wide, Wide World of Sports has never been reached by the information on Christianity?

With all due respect, Trinity Consultation, I am indeed a member of an alternative spirituality. But I find it hard to consider myself unreached. I was baptized a Christian (by immersion), I spent the first 40 years of my life a Christian, I led my children to Christianity just as my parents had led me. It's not a reach to say I got reached.

Then what happened? Other deities proved to have a better reach, at least for me. Do you want to hear about my deities, Trinity Consultation? Why? Could it be that you're trying to figure out how to make my faith more compatible to your One and Only Yahweh business? Don't waste your time. That's how you got Christmas and Easter.

I think there's one possibility we can rule out with the Trinity Consultation. They aren't trying to understand alternative spiritualities as viable alternatives to Christianity. Otherwise they wouldn't call people "unreached."

If you folks at Trinity truly wanted to open a dialogue with the Pagan community, you sure dropped the punt. What's the difference between calling me "unreached" and calling me a sinner? Trust me, I find the former more offensive than the latter, especially considering how "sensitive" it's trying to be.

One final rant to Trinity: Your book of revealed religion specifically warns you not to engage in any dialogue with any other religious group. Now, don't try to tell me that Jesus was more touchy-feely about this sort of thing. Here's your New Testament Chapter and Verse:

"But even if we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel to you than what we have preached to you, let him be accursed."
(Galatians 1:8)

So Trinity, save yourselves from being cursed! Give up this dialogue stuff before you piss off your deity! He's afraid you might find out that he's got worthy competition on many fronts, and some of that competition doesn't like being told their praise and worship teams are "unreached!"

Unreached. Twelve churches in this town of mine, and I'm unreached. Sorry, I can't get over this one, because even the people I owe money to can reach me if they keep trying.

If you want to reach me, I have an email. See my profile.

Can you believe it? That Cindy Jacobs book on the occult was helpful! I got the Bible quote from one of its chapters!


sageweb said...

What is wrong with them Evangelicials...are they not gettin enough money from their followers they need to recruit the unreachables. Ha...

Big Tex said...

They can keep trying to "reach" me all they want, because I screen my calls. :-)

That arrogance is the main reason why the Christian religion is in decline throughout the west. If they haven't "reached" someone like me, it isn't for lack of trying - it's because I have no need for what they have to offer. Why would I want to belong to a religion that prohibits a bunch of stuff that's fun and harms no one, that holds ignorance and bigotry up as virtues, that teaches people that it's okay to destroy this planet because we should all be pining away for the afterlife anyway? Why would I want to belong to a religion that requires human sacrifice as a prerequisite for salvation, indulges in ritual cannibalism, and condemns billions of people to eternal torture in a lake of fire simply because they don't believe? Ugh.

Christianity is an intellectual product that is nearing the end of its marketing cycle. They can dump all the time and money they want into selling it, but they'd be better off trying to come up with a new product that gives consumers what they're looking for.

Anonymous said...

In the wonderful words of Catherine Madsen "Once I was bound but now I'm gone away
from the faithful fold". I am not unreached ... I chose to walk away. And while I find that Christianity holds its own truth and beauty it does not speak to me in the way the Craft does. It never did.

Mama Kelly

Anne Johnson said...

My comments team rocks on!

Alex Pendragon said...

Now wait...what makes US the "un-receached" here? Seems to me that THEY are the ones who haven't been reached, what all with their claiming we are evil, worship the devil, fly around on brooms, and have an unfair advantage with our parking faeries. I say we institute a reverse-outreach program and take it back to THEM for a change.

Let them see just how agravating evangelizing can be when they are on the recieving end......hehe

Hecate said...

Dear Fundies:

Reach this!

Thank you,