Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," where we perform our civic duty with a minimum of outer grumbling and a maximum of inner anxiety.
Today we had to report to Camden, New Jersey for jury duty.
For those of you who don't keep up with statistics, Camden lost its ranking as Murder Capital of America, which it held in 2004 and 2005. This year it has slipped all the way to #5 on the list.
You would never know it to read these nasty, aggressive posts, but we at "The Gods Are Bored" are real shrinking violets when it comes to bodily harm. It has always been thus at "The Gods Are Bored," ever since the day we vomited at a Health Fair at the sight of a mock accident.
Speaking of mock accidents, there also existed the distinct possibility of finding ourselves in a civil suit involving a dreadful collision of multiple automobiles. If you've ever tried to drive through New Jersey, you know exactly what we're talking about.
Worrying about the possibilities of having to stare at graphic photos took all the fun out of sitting in a windowless room for 3 hours with 245 other citizens. When the jury coordinator began barking numbers into the microphone, we almost fainted.
Carefully we mentally rehearsed all the reasons we couldn't sit on a jury, starting with refusal to say "So help me God" and ending with the embarrassing detail that we are self-employed and eking out a precarious day-to-day living.
Then we at "The Gods Are Bored" extracted our mineral wand from our purse, laid it on our heart, and just told it to banish the anxiety. Because, after all, a good Druid knows that justice is paramount and one should never shirk the responsibility of trying to see it done.
At 11:30 a.m. the jury coordinator came in and said we could go home. Out of 245 people they called 60 and sat 12. We learned this statistic while walking to the rapid transit with a lady who was called upstairs but never got interviewed.
It's just as well they didn't call me. We here at "The Gods Are Bored" have some strange opinions where justice is concerned. Like, few poor people get it.
Anyway, we have completed our civic duty, finding the System as guilty as an egg-sucking dog.
THE MERLIN OF BERKELEY SPRINGS