Saturday, November 25, 2006

The Black Friday Itch

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," preparing for the big holiday built around a johnny-come-lately baby, using rituals and trappings of deeply ancient faiths!

Have some egg nog. Light the Yule log. Roast the prize hog!

Every year on the day after Thanksgiving, I get an itch. It's not the urge to run to the mall and spend on credit. It's the uncontrollable need to start decking the halls.

I'm a goat judge, not an electrician. But buried on my wish list, somewhere between a monthly box of fine chocolates and a full body massage by Johnny Depp, there lies the urge to create a crazy Christmas house.

Exhibit A: Crazy Christmas House

You know what I'm talking about. Those over-the-top displays of gaudy greatness, plastic snowmen and manger scenes and every inch of every branch of every tree swathed in light.

We had one guy here in the borough who did a crazy Christmas house all in white lights. He had a manger scene with live actors, donkeys, and sheep (no goats, that was strange); a choir of Dickens-clad carollers; and a real live Santa Claus with a real white beard on the front porch. That house was lit up so bright it looked like daytime. People came from miles around to see it. And unlike the heaven described so vividly by my sister's pastor, you didn't need a ticket to get in. You just parked and walked up the sidewalk. Side-stepping the donkey doo.

That kind fellow went on to the Great North Pole in the Sky about 15 years ago, may he rest in neon. His crazy Christmas house passed into history. But there are others in our county, and my kids and I make a yearly trek to the best ones.

But oh! To make one! To buy all those plastic critters and run all the wires out to the dancing elves display! Oh, to watch your neighbors melt down as you disrupt the power grid and draw gawkers from two states!

I guess it's a good thing I'm a goat judge.



Anonymous said...

Goat judge.... Funny. I'm a boob judge myself. LOL

Correction (being as you can't possibly read through my whole blog if you are new to it), we, the total of mankind, are God in evolution.

This is just where we are at this time in time and space and our evolution.

You might find these two past posts interesting though.

Port Townsend

Sunday Service

(I hope I got the links right, I'm in a hurry)
Have fun with your blog hon. Hugs.

Hecate said...


I'm glad you're a goat judge. You can't imagine how much carbon is emitted due to those crazy xmas houses. And, you know what the charge of the Goddess says: if that which you seek, you find not within yourself, you will never find it without.

Anonymous said...

Hand over all the Egg Nog and no one gets hurt.

Anne Johnson said...

Hi bbc, I checked out your site and it's great. Thanks for dropping by!

Yeah, Hecate, I know about the high cost of a crazy Christmas house. That's how I console myself.