Me and My Big Fat Mouth
Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," parenting without enthusiasm since 2005! I had a lot of fun in my 20s, and then I settled down to procreate. Now I'm old and weird and a fair target for two peppy young daughters.
Today I went to teach at the Vo-Tech. I'm a substitute teacher until something better comes along. And trust me, I go to the edge of my property every day, searching the horizon for that better thing ... or even a hint of its approaching dust in the distance.
When you're a long-term substitute teacher who has to replace some outgoing mommy-to-be, it's inevitable that some of the students will resent the disruption of their happy routine. I had one such student this past winter, and she did her level best to make my life heck. Didn't work, because she isn't family. Only my family can make my life heck. Read on.
It's been about two months since the long-term job ended, and I've been doing some other things for awhile. But I've returned to the Vo-Tech, and today I had that student who hated me. I hadn't seen her since March.
I've got a bum hip. This morning during class I had to get up from a chair and walk across the room. Observing my gait, the student in question murmured, "Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down."
She was almost wrong, because I could have fallen on the floor laughing. This kid is way too young to remember Weebles. I have no idea where she got the illusion, but it fit perfectly.
EXHIBIT A: WEEBLES
Then I made my GREAT BIG MISTAKE.
I came home from work, and over dinner I told my daughters, The Heir and The Spare, about "Weebles wobble." They've been singing the ditty ever since, and it's clear they plan to put it in their permanent repertoire. The Heir is old enough to remember Weebles, and she quickly clued The Spare in to what they're all about. The Spare, a quick study, ran with the Weeble epithet all evening and clearly has plans to rinse and repeat.
By the time I get wise to my shortcomings, I won't be a Weeble, I'll be a Feeble.
Did I discipline or write up the student who called me a Weeble? Are you kidding? We at "The Gods Are Bored" worship wit! The kid got extra credit on the day.
WEEBLE OF BERKELEY SPRINGS