Saturday, February 24, 2018

This Annie Doesn't Want a Gun

Hi there, buckaroos! It's me, Anne Johnson, back from being president and safely in civilian life again!

I could have stayed at the White House forever, since it's so much more lavish than my own humble home, but after this latest horrible school shooting, I decided I was needed more at the Vo Tech. What, really, is more important than caring for our vulnerable teenagers?

New Jersey has some hella strict gun laws (another reason to love the Garden State), so I'm pretty doggone sure my school administrators aren't going to hand me a pistol and send me to the firing range. And that's a good thing, because I will quit my job if they start bringing guns into my school.

LIST OF JOBS ANNE WOULD DO RATHER THAN HAVE A GUN IN HER CLASSROOM

*Taco Bell drive-thru window, graveyard shift
*Goat judge (wish this paid better, it's a great job)
*Shrimp boat
*Wal-Mart ... yes. Wal-Mart cart collector
*Busting rocks with a sledgehammer
*Fox News focus group
*All natural mosquito eradicator
*Flagpole sitter
*Janitor, turnpike restrooms

If I couldn't find one of those compelling jobs, I would do anything that provided a meager paycheck. ANYTHING rather than having a gun in my hand in a classroom!

I'm not pretending to speak for all public school teachers here, but as for me and my classroom, we will follow the path of peace. No. Damn. Gun.

Ever.




6 comments:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I thought of you the moment I heard Trump's idiotic idea.

anne marie in philly said...

I thought of you also and another teacher blogger I read. OH FUCK NO to guns in school!

Bob Slatten said...

Seriously, can't we give our teachers supplies they MEED to teach and just make it harder to get guns, and ban AR-15'sand such? Seriously.

Ol'Buzzard said...

If we must have guns in schools it should be an assigned police officer. But teachers with guns - definitely not. I am a retired teacher and I would rather go up against a shooter unarmed then have a gun fight in a school. Can you imagine a teacher having to deal with the death of a student as collateral damage in a shoot out?
the Ol'Buzzard

Ravager619 said...

I thought of you not only when Trump said this, but when I saw video of a shootout at an Oklahoma liquor store. The clerks, a mother and daughter, decided to be the "good guys" with guns. They started shooting each other, and I'm glad no one else was around at the time because I'm sure there would have been other casualties.

Guns do not belong in schools, period.

Janie Junebug said...

Guns in the classroom? NO! I know you can imagine the horrible problems that would occur . . . the tragic accidents.

Love,
Janie