Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Still Not Believing My Eyes

If you live in the Delaware Valley of the US of A, and you turn the TV on and see Rick Santorum as a serious presidential candidate, you are absolutely baffled. Baffled, I tell you! You want to open a window and shout, "HEY, IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY CABLE?"

Since the founding days of "The Gods Are Bored," ex-Senator Santorum has been a favorite whipping boy (tee hee), winner of more "moron par excellence" citations than any other imbicile on the planet. His presence at the top of the political scene proves that all investors, including Super PACS, want to buy at bargain basement prices.

Don't let the sweater vest fool you. Oh, wait a minute. You're reading "The Gods Are Bored!" You learned not to let sweater vests fool you at your mama's knee.

Anyway, it's time to re-acquaint non-Pennsylvanians with the antics of Santorum. Not the ones that made the public stage, like his suggestion that men would want to marry dogs. No, the antics that lost him his seat in the Senate.

Over the weekend, this moron par excellence heaped vitriol on public schools, pretty much calling for them to be abolished. He favors home schooling, because, of course, his long-suffering spouse home-schooled his brood of brats.

But wait. Read the fine print.

The Santorum brood was home-schooled at the expense of the taxpayers of Pennsylvania. Yes indeed, the Keystone State paid for the books, computers, testing ... everything except maybe the copies of Of Pandas and People that round out the liberal education of every unfortunate offspring of a wacked Christian zealot.

Here's the wrinkle:

The Commonwealth of Pennsylvania paid to educate the Santorum brood while said brood was actually living in Virginia. This came to be a sore subject on the old home turf around election time. Many citizens felt they had been ill-used. They voted accordingly.

Charter school? Santorum didn't use it. Parochial school? Santorum's kids did not attend. No, folks. The bitty babes may have learned Pandas in the comfort of their suburban Virginia McMansion, but they got a fully funded public school education. Rick Santorum's outlay for this education? Whatever the heck the property taxes were on the little house he called "home" somewhere near Pittsburgh. You know the place. The one where no one bothered to mow the lawn. Why should the grass be mowed when the family was living in Virginia?

I did a little research.

What do Dwight Eisenhower, Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, and Ronald Reagan all have in common? Oh geez. They all attended public schools. Word! What a hoot!

Ladies and gentlemen, I call your attention to Rick Santorum ... suggesting that his esteemed predecessors in the Republican ranks did not get good educations. Moron. Par. Excellence.

Someone fix my cable box. Please. I can't watch this guy run for president.


Debra She Who Seeks said...

Yes, I've heard before of Santorum's "place of residence" scam. Funny how all these radical fiscal conservatives always want to suck at the public teat for themselves and their families.

Beware anyone who doesn't think the rules apply to them -- only to everyone else.


Shefyt said...

Every time I see this guy appearing as a viable candidate for president, I want to cry. How very far we've fallen...

Moma Fauna said...

I hate this stuff. Our school just found out that we will have another teacher cut this year. That will leave us with 3, plus a 1/2 time Kindergarten teacher -- no administrator. All of the Aides are expected to resign & if they want their jobs back, they can reapply & begin anew @ $7.50/hr.

This town has about 700 people. There are no other options other than our beleaguered public school system which some of us are busting our asses to keep going. SO, if he says take away the public schools in the interest of "choice," that leaves us with none.

Excuse me while I go clean the froth from my mouth now...

Alex said...

I don't want to live here any more.

The planet, I mean....

Tante Fledermaus said...

Someone suggested to me that these cartoonishly horrid GOP presidential candidates are the red herring to keep everyone from paying attention to the awful crap they're pushing through in the House and Senate (federal and state level). Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain... watch the asshat who thinks your uterus is up for public debate.

The Fluff Master said...

My husband and I both stated that if that goon actually wins the presidency, we are swiftly moving to Europe...or Antarctica...anywhere but here.


I bet President Obama is shaking in his boots..


shel said...

It's always upsetting, but never surprising, when conservatives attack public education. Many of them send their children to the local private academy, or hire tutors, or trick the state into paying for homeschooling. But I value the public education my three children are getting. They're mingling. With real people. Instead of bashing the public school system, I'd like the Republican candidates to bash each other. Just once. That would make for an entertaining debate.

Anonymous said...

Fluff -- You don't think Canada is far enough? I ask because we were thinking of Canada if he gets put in the White House....(he couldn't 'win' any more than Bush did.)

Christa said...

One of the joys of moving out of PA for me was no longer having to hear about this wacko on the news. Now he's everywhere, I feel cheated.

(Found your blog searching for something about Ridley Creek state park, btw. I used to go there all the time-- never knew there was other pagan stuff going on there. Anyway, great blog!)