Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I! (Do you know your Broadway musicals?)
Today I got a poorly grammarized email from some dude. He purported to be a talk radio host in Las Vegas and wanted to "interview a witch" for a taped spot to be aired on Halloween. He asked me to call him and left a phone number with no area code.
If you are that dude, and you're reading this post right now, I will only agree to interview with people if they're smart enough to word an email properly and leave an area code. However, I could be persuaded to do a face-to-face interview if you're really in Vegas, and you pay for my trip.
But, alas, I am not a witch.
Now my regular choir is confused. But Anne, you worship all those Celtic deities and all the Pagan holidays! Doesn't that make you a witch?
Wicca and Druidism are not the same. They may be as alike as Methodism and Lutheranism, but I'll leave you to tell a Methodist he's just like a Lutheran.
This is just me personally speaking, and I have no wish to offend my legions and legions of Wiccan readers. But I just object to the word "witch." I think it's freighted with too much negative baggage. Just remember how confused Dorothy was in Oz when she met a good witch. And straight on that good witch's heels came the prevailing vision of a witch. And what a nasty one too!
So, just as I think the word "masturbation" should be changed to "turtle dove love" (the "m" word being so absolutely repellent that it could lead to blindness), I think perhaps the word "witch" should be retired in favor of something more user-friendly.
I propose "sweetie pie."
What a nice word! It can be applied alike to men and women. It suggests the true nature of Wicca, which always has been and always will be a nurturing, healing faith, rather than a practice that butchers kittens and tries to turn that nosy neighbor into a newt.
Now that we're closing in on Samhain, we at "The Gods Are Bored" will be examining our favorite holy day and how to use it as a recruitment tool amongst the Left Behind crowd. Seems to me they're the ones who've corrupted "witch" beyond all possible use as a word, so let's offer up some sweetie pie to their frothing mouths.
Cheerio, my sweetie pies!
THE MERLIN OF BERKELEY SPRINGS