Tuesday, April 19, 2005


What a coincidence! It's new popes all around today!

This just in from the Isle of Avalon: The convening of high priestesses of the bored gods has resulted in the naming of a new Pope of the Bored Gods.

The new pope, who will call herself Altheia XVI, is a 76-year-old lesbian from Somalia. She was the unanimous choice, on first ballot, of the 23 priestesses (all dressed in blue robes bought at thrift stores) of the Most High Bored Gods.

In her first address, Altheia XVI noted that she is conservative on issues of faith. So we can expect few changes in the agenda of the bored gods, at least during her pontificate.

Altheia XVI said it's really, really important to adhere to the bored gods' ancient instruction to not write down any rules or regulations. The minute you bind something into words, you have a devil of a time changing it. (Witness the competition, poor old Pope Rat, trying to get all the ancient Latin right. Jesus didn't even speak Latin.)

Altheia XVI asks that you wear your Tinker Bell t-shirt on Wednesday, April 20, as a show of support for the bored gods. If you don't own a Tinker Bell t-shirt already, go buy one! They're everywhere!

Altheia XVI plans to apply for the position of Catholic Pope the next time the job opens up. She said the Cardinals didn't give her enough time to get her application papers notarized this time around. They shouldn't be in such a rush, those Cardinals. It took them less time to pick a pope than it does for most people to choose a color for their new Ford Explorer. Haste makes waste. What does waste make? A rock that's too crowded with hungry, breeding people.

Your correspondent from Avalon's Misty Isle.
PS - Don't forget that Tinker Bell t-shirt!