Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" Money doesn't grow on trees, but if it did, would you really want it to? I mean, come on already! What kind of autumn would that be, with ugly currency falling into piles, and people fighting to rake their yards before the neighbors do it for them!
Nevertheless, money is a great thing.
For instance, I want to thank the anonymous benefactress who has urged me to set up a wish list at Barnes & Noble dot com, so that she can provide books for my classroom! Just now I'm too dead tired to do the setup (here come those buzzards again ... they sense an easy meal...), but as soon as I do I'll tell you all about it.
There's a Dunkin Donuts on the way to my school. Sometimes I stop there for a muffin if there's nothing in the pantry at home. A panhandler regularly works the breakfast crowd at this store. He's done it for years.
Back when I first got my Dodge, I was running late for work one morning but was famished. So I stopped at DD and got a bagel. When I came back into the parking lot, I couldn't get the key to open my car. I tried every door, becoming more and more panicked. Why wasn't my key opening my car?
Behind me I heard a whistle. It was the panhandler. He pointed to another car. The car he pointed to was mine. I gave him five bucks and I told him, "I'm hillbilly. We never forget favors." Then I opened my car, leaped in, and got to work on time.
Ever since that day I give him money when I stop by the donut shop. (I don't go that often). Today he was particularly needy, so I gave him what I thought was the money I had set aside for lunch. I figured I could get my lunch on credit at the school. They will float you a few meals if you're cash poor.
When I got to school, I discovered I had forty bucks in my wallet. I have no idea how the money got in there, how long it had been there, or why I might have had that much spare moolah to begin with.
This was the highlight of my day. Otherwise there were moments that I devoutly hope I can remove from my mind by dedicated hard drinking.
Bright blessings to you all!