Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" Hard to admit, yes it is, but I am past my prime. And for those of you striplings who say, "Age is a mindset, not a number," well. You must still be young. Age isn't a number, but it's a reality.
I may be past my prime, but I'm nowhere near dotage. This means that the urge to dance, hike, and otherwise carry on is still an itch that can be scratched.
Hiking is one of those pastimes that come with an unfortunate drawback. The drawback is, if the hike is worth taking, it's going to be steep, rocky, or both. Take my word on this. I live close to the New Jersey Pine Barrens, and the hikes there are soft, level, and devoid of rocks. They are also boring as a Methodist tithing sermon. Pine trees, pine trees, and more pine trees. With an oak or ten thousand thrown in for variety.
I'm just back from beautiful Anneland, and the hiking there is middling interesting.
EXHIBIT A: VIEW FROM ANNELAND
I have been frustrated with my inability to climb mountains for the past three years. But this year I figured out a hack. It will drive the striplings nuts, but for me it works!
Here are the steps:
1. When the hiking gets steep and/or rocky, proceed thirty paces, looking only at the few paces right in front of you, then rest.
2. Do not look ahead at the trail in front of you while resting, except to confirm the next blaze. Look back at what you have accomplished.
3. If, after 30 paces you feel like you can go farther, go ahead. Stop when you run out of breath or see a cute mushroom or find a stand of wild raspberries.
4. In the summertime, go hiking early. It's too hot in the middle and end of the day.
Now you, too, can be a successful (if slow as hell) hiker!
One final piece of free advice: It's never a good idea to hike alone. However, if you do, be sure to let two different people know what trails you'll be on and when you plan to be back. When you get back, call both people to check in. This is what I did on my last visit to Anneland, and by this means I was able to conquer the nearest steep trail.
All the blessings of the bored Gods to you! Let me know about your hiking. It's a great way to spend a morning.
4 comments:
I use this EXACT SAME hiking method! Except I use it when walking down my city sidewalks. Alas, because of peripheral arterial disease in my legs, continuous walking is almost beyond me now. All I can do is "stop and start" interval walking which is more than fine when at home or out shopping in a store, but prevents me from doing any serious distance walking anymore.
This is great advice, Anne! I'm not doing much hiking these days - other than a quick hike to the grocery store (flat, sidewalks, two blocks away).
Before the pandemic I went on a couple of hikes with a group called Unlikely Hikers. The founder, Jenny Bruso, disliked the fact that most hikers tend to be white, thin, male and entitled. So, she started a group for queer, fat, POC, disabled, or anyone who is made to feel unwelcome on the trail. She is building communities of hikers all over the country! Check her out online!
I am glad that you have found a way to hike that works for you.
those are great tips and i use them too. except for the letting people know where i am. i don't have any people to tell so i just take my chances and have 911 on speed dial. :-)
love & magicks
~*~
Simply walking can be a challenge for me, and I miss hiking as I once did, so your words are wise and appreciated.
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