Wednesday, July 21, 2021

A New "Gods Are Bored" Series: Anywhere But Amazon

 Did you see this?

"I want to thank every Amazon employee and every Amazon customer because you guys paid for all of this," Bezos said during a post-flight press conference. "Seriously, for every Amazon customer out there and every Amazon employee, thank you from the bottom of my heart very much. It's very appreciated."

Yeah, Jeff. Fuck you, and your dick spaceship! "I just want to thank all the little people who got me on this nice trip to outer space. Everyone who works long hours, breaking their backs in my warehouses (and pissing in bottles), and all of you customers who get your socket wrenches and yoga pants from me, rather than shopping locally or even searching a little bit online."

For the love of red-eyed fruit flies! Is this demon spawn for real?

Got to assume so, I guess. So, what can I, Anne Johnson, do to thwart this King Louis XVI wannabe (short, of course, of following the same fate that met ol' Louie)?

Announcing a new "Gods Are Bored" series, ANYWHERE BUT AMAZON!

In this occasional series, I will choose a random item that could easily be purchased on Amazon, and I will direct you to another outlet. And please, I would like some reader participation here! If you are thinking of buying something on Amazon, let me help you find an alternate vendor!

Today's item to not buy on Amazon: a shower curtain.

Simplest thing in the world, right? I mean, you can pick up a vinyl shower curtain in a lot of supermarkets. But suppose you can't? And suppose you want a stylish one?

Annie's advice?

Target ships as fast as Amazon, costs the same, and sometimes they give you a deal for free shipping if you spend a certain amount. The last time I ordered an item from, I obtained six pairs of cotton cuff socks for the same price I would have paid to ship the item I originally bought. I needed socks and basically got them for free.

Now, if you really want to go the ANYWHERE BUT AMAZON route, you could search up a shower curtain on Etsy. I just looked, out of curiosity, and there are 55,470 shower curtains on Etsy! If you can't find one from a small vendor on there, you are the most discriminating shopper of all time -- and in that case you sure aren't using Amazon.

Readers, I am at the point where I wouldn't buy from Amazon if it was the only place selling air. Bezos is not only a spoiled-ass billionaire, he is clearly so tone deaf he couldn't carry a tune across the room.

What are you tempted to buy on Amazon? Ask Annie ... she'll help you find it somewhere else!

Links are directly to shower curtains.


Bob said...

Bezos can FOAD as Anne Marie would have said.
I have never and will never purchase anything from Amazon. If Amazon is the only place that carried what I want, then I don't need it.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Bezos is such an asshole.

e said...

I was against Amazon from the get go. It started out as an online bookstore and I am a lover of indie bookstores. Here in Portland Oregon we still have real books on real wooden shelves and that is where my book purchases are made.

As for all of the other stuff you can purchase through the behemoth, I would rather drive across town or even to the next town and pick it up myself. I don't give that egomaniac my money.

yellowdoggranny said...

I'd like to kick his ass.

Bohemian said...

Tone Deaf indeed he is... Thanking all the small businesses he put out of business and all the Workers he's exploited, what an arrogant POS. I was kinda hoping his Penis rocket would get Lost in Space, a giant Dildo circling the Earth perpetually as his rightful Tomb. I don't use Amazon, I'll pay more to avoid all the Billionaire Boys Club Businesses and Support the small local Indie shops, what few are still solvent. Unfortunately the Consumer has created these Monsters, they'd go broke if everyone boycott them and found alternatives. But I think too many are enamored with the likes of Amazon and now reliant on cheap, fast, delivered to one's door... no matter how many fellow Americans have to be exploited and how many small businesses have to go under to provide this and keep feeding the Monster companies.

Katrina said...

I'm so glad to have stumbled across your blog 😂 thanks for the real talk and the kick up the butt I needed to stop putting my cash in Bezos's pocket...