Tuesday, December 01, 2015

Decibel the Parrot, 1986-2015

I thought she would live to be 70 years old. That's what I'd heard that parrots do. When the vet told me she was nearing the end of her lifespan at age 29, I couldn't believe it. I wasn't prepared.

Decibel the parrot died of atherosclerosis on Black Friday. She had had a heart attack two weeks earlier, and I rushed her to the vet. That's how I got the diagnosis. She was given an X-ray that showed fatty buildup in her heart. I got her a prescription of blood thinner, and she was taking it very well twice a day, but it wasn't enough to prolong her existence in the apparent world.

Well, she didn't fly, and she did love her sunflower seeds and snack cakes. Just like a human.

When Decibel was young, my grandfather was alive, and my children weren't born. She came to me as a partly-feathered chick and lived with me all her life. I loved her, but I grew to understand that she was a wild animal forced into an unnatural state of living that was not even remotely close to what she should have had or what she might have been. It's great that she could call for my daughter, say my name, chuckle, cry, sing off key ... but what she couldn't do was soar above the rain forest with her own kind, mate, raise her family, and get all the exercise and proper food her little body required.

Life will be so odd now.

It's not like my whole day revolved around Decibel -- far, far from it -- but she was always in my mind, in my reality, part of the daily routine. She was an antagonist, a source of laughter, an obligation, a friend, a needy child. With all of that removed suddenly, there's quite a void. My mind still expects her to be there. I'm sure it will be that way for awhile.

I buried Decibel the parrot with the poppet Mrs. B made for her, under a young oak tree near the infamous Snobville Pond. There's a bench where I can sit and see her well-hidden resting place (didn't want the resident night critters to dig her up).

I'm still in the close-to-tears phase of mourning. I'm racked with guilt that I didn't spend more time with her ... although I did in these ending years.

I owe an apology to Decibel and to Gaia. Goddess, I was young. I didn't know this "pet" should be a wildling. Forgive me.

Decibel, you did good with what you were given. You did real good, ol' girl. May you have found a Summerland that is 100 percent rain forest, 100 percent of the time.

10 comments:

Lucretia said...

I am so sorry for your loss, Anne. Perhaps she "should" have been living wild, but things don't always happen the way they "should", do they? You were her guardian in this life, and you made the life she had the very best that you could. I believe our furry and feathered children know this. I'm sure Decibel will remember you with love, and will be there to greet you when you pass to the other side of the veil, whenever that may be. Let's just hope she doesn't choose to greet you with any swear words! ::HUGS::

JACKIESUE said...

she loved and was loved..can't ask for more than that..I'm so sorry..I know it will take you a long time to recover from this..Goddess bless you all.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Oh, how sad I am to hear this news! Decibel was a larger-than-life personality, that's for sure. I loved hearing about her exploits, her battles, her ups and downs. May she now be sheltered like a downy chick within the great wings of the Goddess Isis.

Terraluna said...

Anne, we are all animals born into an unnatural state of living. If we find some love and comfort along the way, well, that's no so bad.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend.

Anti Kate said...

Dayum. I'm sorry. It is never easy.

Helen/Hawk said...

So sorry that this change has also come. Decibel was present. Your relationship clearly mattered (as evidenced by your tales) both ways. May your heart be eased.

www.essay-writer.club said...

It so sorry to hear that you lost your beloved bird. It is so hard to loose the one you love even if it is an animal. I had A dog living with me for 7 years ( not so much as your Decibel) though I loved him so much cause I was growing with him. When he died I just couldn't stop crying and my hurt was hurting so much. Hope you'll feel better soon.

Kim Cooper said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know she meant a lot to you, and was a real presence here at TGAB.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your dear Decibel. I know you will miss her...Take solace in the fact she is flying free now.
CLM

Vest said...

Very touching. Likewise we have a 17 year old (at least) parakeet; grey with orange front she is called lucky and at the time of her capture she was simply walking around my neighbours garden and we have kept her since in a 4'x4' wire cage and each morning has a fly around the house and returns to her cage usually by herself only family members handle her, our two moggies look on but don't touch. Cheer up.