Monday, February 02, 2015

Interview with a Goddess: Imbolc 2015

Greetings from "The Gods Are Bored" on Imbolc, the festival day that honors Queen Brighid the Bright!

And what do you think? I took the day off from work and cooked the Snow Day turkey, and would you believe it? Queen Brighid has stopped by for a steaming plate! Please give a warm, wonderful, Gods Are Bored welcome to Goddess Brighid!

Anne: Thank you so much for stopping by, Great Goddess! What an honor to have you here on Your feast day!

Brighid: How nice of you to invite Me to your Imbolc dinner table.

Anne: I praise and worship You all the time, since You are my Patroness Goddess and the Guardian of my altar. But just lately I've been thinking about You even more.

Brighid: Why is that?

Anne: I got a new polyester blanket for ten bucks at Ross Dress for Less. I even got a senior citizen discount on it -- my first ever!

Brighid: That's my sensible Annie!

Anne: Here it is. Feel it!

Brighid: Oh! How did they get it that soft?

Anne: Completely synthetic fabric! Nothing natural about this blanket at all. I have no idea what technology went into making it, but my soul, isn't it just the softest, most gooey blankie you've ever touched?

Brighid: Best in the apparent world, most certainly. And I like that shade of green. There's not a single plant in all the world that is that shade of green, but it's pretty.

Anne: Indeed! And I've been sleeping like a buzzard under this artificial textile. I wish my grandfather was alive to see it! He spent his whole career in the synthetic fabric industry. I'll bet this would fascinate him. Anyway, when I pull its buttery softness around me, I think of Your mantle that you spread upon the world, back when it was a place of chaos and savage beasts.

Brighid: Yes, My silver mantle. To this day some people call Me Brighid of the Mantle.

Anne: That was a straight-up swell gesture of You, Goddess. What would the world have been like without Your blessed silver mantle? Unfit for humans, at the very least. Every time I cuddle up under my new gooey fake fabric blankie, I think of Your magic mantle and how it tamed the world. Thank You for doing that.

Brighid: You're welcome, Anne. Thanks for remembering.

Anne: In my mind I picture You spreading Your mantle out. Like, see how I lay my totally artificial blanket softly over my bed? I imagine You doing it that way. Or, like a mother covers up her sleeping child. Or, how a camper lays down a ground cloth before erecting a sturdy tent. Ummm.....

Brighid: Go ahead, I can read your mind anyway.

Anne: ... how we lay blankets down before a picnic to deter the pismires.

Brighid: You speak so eloquently! My praise and worship team has always valued intelligent women.

Anne: It's nice to feel valued by your deity. In some praise and worship systems, women don't really feel the love.

Brighid: And that's a crying shame! You should go door-to-door, Anne.

Anne: I wouldn't presume. But I'm glad You call me Yours, Goddess.

Brighid: Forever and always.

Anne: Would you like a serving of blueberry cobbler for the road? Nothing artificial about the blueberries!

Brighid: Thank you, and thank you for the altar ... are those vulture feathers?

Anne: Yes.... ummmmmm ......

Brighid: Oh, don't be embarrassed! No liturgy, no worries! If you want your wand to have the feathers of a carrion-eating scavenger, that's fine by Me. I will continue to bless your home and hearth.

Anne: I love you, Queen Brighid the Bright.

Brighid: And I love you too, Anne. All is well.

4 comments:

Anti Kate said...

I wanna' join your coven! Or, whatever.

JACKIESUE said...

blessings on you and Queen Brighid..

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Your best interview yet! May Brigid the Bright continue to bless your hearth and home.

Anne Johnson said...

Anti, if you're in the Philadelphia area, shoot me another comment! I'm in a small Druid Grove.