Free Advice on Dating and Other Matters of Love

Look here. I'm not complaining. In fact, I'm quietly happy. But it still is baffling. Perhaps the work of a jealous bored Goddess.

My two beautiful daughters are unlucky in love.

Spare had attracted the attention of a young lad she met during her first term in college. I figured she would be dating seriously by this time in her college career, seeing as how she hadn't had a real boyfriend since early high school.

Wouldn't you know. She had one formal date with the lad, and two days later he has given her the gentle heave-ho.

Well, there you are. I mean to say, this is not such bad news for a parent who is shelling out ducats on college tuition. However, to Spare it is distressing. I had to pull her bodily out of the kitchen before she began to rage-cook a turkey dinner.

No daughter wants to hear from her mom that the best of all possible worlds is to work hard and make a place for yourself in the world before you turn a batting eyelash upon a likely lad. But that is the free parental advice I dole out to both of my young daughters.

This is the boring kind of blah blah blah you can expect from a mother. Goes in one ear, out the other.

Spare has gone to the home of a chum to bury herself in Chinese food and talk down the opposite gender. I'm sitting here with my dear cat, Alpha, who -- after giving us a holiday scare -- seems to have come back into her wits.

It can't hurt to ask a cat for dating advice. Why not? Alpha was towing a kitten through the dumpster when she was rescued by a crazy cat lady.

Anne: Alpha. What's your advice for finding true love?

Alpha: Don't think about it at all until you go into heat. Then, any tomcat will do.

Ahem. Thanks, Alpha. Sound advice ... if you're a cat. I'm glad I asked you, and not Spare!

Free advice on matters of love? Spay or neuter your pet.

Have a nice day!