Monday, August 29, 2011

God's Fault Again!

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" My, what a mighty wind we had here! And six inches of rain! There are trees down, and power outages, and limbs in the streets, and every waterway is flooded. All up and down the East Coast, everything's a mess. Poor Asbury Park! I looked at some YouTubes, but none of them were good enough to post here. Suffice it to say that tourist season is over for that boardwalk.

Guess who is to blame for this hurricane? God!

Busy God, sending messages to the politicians in Washington, DC. The message? Politicians spend too much taxpayer money. Except now the politicians will have to spend even more taxpayer money to clean up after the hurricane! Who is the dummy here: God, or Michele Bachmann?

The smart money's on Michele. What a moron!

The good news out of Chateau Johnson is that all of our trees survived and we only lost power sporadically, like any old thunderstorm.

Now, mind you, I didn't leave the protection of my household and its residents up to pure chance and the vagaries of weather patterns. Oh no! I petitioned safety of a whole slew of bored deities: Chac (see below), Hurracan, Oya, Oshun, and Triton. And because They weren't busy sending a message to Washington, DC, They put up a celestial wall of safety around my house and loved ones!

If you are visiting this site because of all my dissing of Cindy Jacobs and other Christian warriors (of which Michele Bachmann is clearly one), please ponder this a moment.

A leading politician claims that the God of Cindy Jacobs caused an earthquake and a hurricane -- serious, deadly stuff. My bored gods, on the other hand, quietly and efficiently saved my family from harm, while feeling no particular need to send a political message to Washington.

Busy deities get blamed for everything. Bored deities aren't burdened with such baggage. So, why go with the god who feels the need to send messages in a showy, destructive way? Seek ye the bored gods and goddesses who have the time to care for you, and the gentility not to use major weather systems to make a point.

The word of the bored gods, for the people of the bored gods, thanks be to the bored gods! Yep.


Aquila ka Hecate said...

All Hail the Bored Gods!

Terri in Joburg

Anonymous said...

I spent the weekend enjoying the weather. While residents of the eastern most parts of the realm sweated out high winds, torrential rain and flooding I plodded around among the hills and hollers in sunshine and hurricane induced breezes. Picked up a baby rabbit and put him or her in the woods lest the neighbors dog have a snack. The weekend here in the hills was spectacular. With two Democrat senators and at least one atheist in the state I wonder why god gave us a break.

kimc said...

If some busy god were sending a message through storm and earthquake, it's much more likely that the message was to stop wrecking the environment and causing global climate change and stop fracking and causing earthquakes.
No one from the Right mentions that when Hurricane Katrina went through New Orleans, the part of the city with the least damage was the gay district. It doesn't go with their message....