Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Gilligan and the Skipper Need Not Apply

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" Are you a libertarian ... someone who would like the government entirely and completely off your ass in all matters public and private? If so, you may have some interesting housing options in the future.

We all know how Anne sucks at linking, so.....


The gazillionaire founder of PayPal, who is also heavily invested in Facebook, wants to create artificial libertarian islands in international waters. These islands would obey the laws of no country. Guns would be permitted, welfare not.

Can you imagine being a school teacher on a libertarian island?

"Okay, boys and girls, open your books to page 34. That is, if you want to. If you don't want to, you don't have to. You can do whatever you want. This includes distracting the kids who actually do want to learn what's on page 34. If all of you want to play video games, and there aren't enough consoles, then just fight it out. The strongest wins."

Can you imagine being "the help" on a libertarian island?

"I'm not going to clean your house today, Mr. Thiel. I don't feel like doing it. Oh, so you say you aren't going to pay me? Well, then I'll just have to shoot you. There are no laws against it, after all." BANG.

It's not like the idea of libertarian communities hasn't been tried before. There was one, I think it was called Dodge City, somewhere in the American West. Don't quote me, though. I went through a libertarian phase in high school, and I think I missed some classes.

We at "The Gods Are Bored" are all in favor of these expensive libertarian islands in international waters. One down side: An island outside of all national boundaries will have trouble finding any good deity to worship -- and recall that all religions have rules, so religion would be O-U-T, out! However, an expensive libertarian island seems like the perfect dumping ground for morons with money. To hell with taxing American billionaires! If they move to the libertarian island, we'll just smack a hefty tariff on every little thing they want. Pint of Ben & Jerry's? $10,200. Utz potato chips? $7500 an ounce. Don't even get me started on the cost of a T-bone, spring mix salad, truffles and home made apple pie. Why, we could fund two Camden police officers for a year, just on what the libertarian islanders would have to pay for a bag of Tootsie Pops!

Off you go, founder of PayPal and all your billionaire buddies. Off to no-nation waters, your little artificial island, like something out of a "Dr Who" episode. Bon voyage! Please note, though, that if you want to return to America, you will have to get a green card and apply for citizenship all over again. But why would you want to do that? You'll be so very happy in your world with no rules other than the ones you personally choose.

Wow. I so totally see a reality t.v. show in this one. Don't you?

Damn greedy, elitist bastards. Why don't we send them to Elba now, instead of waiting years for their prototypes to launch? Good riddance, they're doing nothing for us anyway.

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At August 16, 2011 , Blogger Hecate said...

Let them go. I give it six months.

At August 16, 2011 , Blogger Debra She Who Seeks said...

LOL @ Hecate!

At August 16, 2011 , Blogger Meganne said...

My fiance just commented that this sounds like it will end up like Lord of the Flies. I'm all for that!

At August 16, 2011 , Anonymous Lori F - MN said...

Do they have to be rich and do they have to go voluntarilily?
I vote to send Fred Phelps and Co.

At August 16, 2011 , Blogger Makarios said...

Why don't they just go to Somalia, the libertarians' paradise?

At August 16, 2011 , Anonymous Lori F - MN said...

Oh yeah, and just wait until the pirates move in and decide to make this new island their 'Port Royal'. Don't cry to the U.S. for aid.

At August 17, 2011 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Obviously the place for Thurston Howell Jr. Another commenter on this story noted that the islands will have less stringent building codes. Glub, glub! (Exactly what the Randies have been doing to the economy, of course.) Rodger C

At August 17, 2011 , Anonymous BellaDonna Oya said...

This is exactly what happens when someone has waaayyy too much money, waaayyy too much time on their hands, and not very many brains. (I'm not worried, though. They'll probably kill each other over the building floor plans, anyway.)

At August 17, 2011 , Anonymous Lori F - MN said...

Nope. they'll each other over interior decorators.
can't wait until a huge wave comes around to smack them down.
Why can't these people just do a generouse tax write off and make a donation to a charity?

At August 20, 2011 , Blogger kimc said...

Little boys with their toys....
As someone noted on another blog, it seems to be almost entirely men who are interested in this lifestyle, so it may be a unisexual society, for as long as it lasts....
But, seriously, are they going to have NO laws? Not even a law against murder? How can they have "looser building codes" without having building codes?
I have a friend who had a house built by an amateur before building codes: the floor was seriously sagging, the ceiling was 7 feet high, and the wall between one bedroom and the living room was a single layer of sheetrock, no studs.

At August 23, 2011 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

This... should be interesting.

Still, the real test would be not how long it lasts after starting for the people who volunteered to live there (although, if it doesn't last THAT long it says something), but how well it works for people who were born into that country, forced to be there, never asked to be there, etc.


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