Friday, June 03, 2011

I'm Surprised This Helicopter Parent Could Get off the Ground

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," where there's always room for another moron! And plenty are the morons who deserve attention here -- there's never enough time ...

You've probably heard the term "helicopter parent." These are parents who try to micro-manage their kids' lives, especially in high school and college. Snobville is full of such people, only they often miss the forest (kids behaving badly) for the trees (kids excelling in school). God forbid little Biff or Buffy bring home a "C" in cooking class! How can they get into Harvard with that stain on their perfect report card?

I'm totally serious. Snobville High no longer has cooking classes because they were a threat to those all-important GPAs.

This week, helicopter parenting took on a whole new heft here in New Jersey. Our infamous "I'm-going-to-tame-runaway-spending" governor, Chris Christie, found that he might miss his son's varsity baseball game because he had an important meeting with a bunch of Iowa Republicans who came to Trenton to try to get him to lumber for president. ("Run" cannot be used in Christie's case. He couldn't save himself from an attack sloth.) Fearing he might miss the first pitch, Christie hitched a ride in a state police helicopter that flew him to the game. Governor Blimpy then took a limosine for the final 100 yards to the game. Word, the guy cannot walk the length of a football field.

The evil journalists who follow such things made a report, and it got around that Governor Spendthrift does not do as he says. He has since reimbursed the State of New Jersey for use of a state helicopter, but rest assured he wouldn't have bothered if he hadn't been caught out doing it.

Now, I know we are an overweight nation, most of us are overweight at least a little. I stand accused myself on that front. But Governor Christie is not overweight a little. He is obese. They would snap him up for "The Perfect Loser" without even looking at how bad a governor he is. With that in mind, as a citizen of New Jersey, I would like to observe the following:

1. Whatever that helicopter ride cost, Christie ought to have to pay the same surcharge that obese airline passengers have to pay. That chopper must have labored like a mule to get off the ground with Chris Christie inside.

2. Did he reimburse the limo for driving him 100 yards? Same thing. A car works harder when it's weighed down.

People are talking about this man running for president. I say, go ahead and vote him in, Iowa. But before you do, go to your nearest encyclopedia and look at pictures of our American presidents. Out of almost 50 chief executives, I think only Teddy and Taft were fat. Oh, wait. I've seen pictures of Grover Cleveland. He was porky too. Otherwise, weighty matters tend to be decided by men (and soon women) who watch their weight. Even Tricky Dick cut a fine figure in a tux.

Governor, you're a spoiled brat who got caught with his hands -- both of them -- in the state cookie jar. If the rest of us are giving up hard-earned benefits, the least you can do is walk 100 yards ... and for the love of all that is state property, stop this helicopter abuse! Next time use the aircraft carrier. Better fit.

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At June 03, 2011 , Blogger The Traveler said...

I was more appalled at his 'apology' speech. How he is able to shoulder that cross he seems to think the media has dropped on him is anyone's guess. To sit there and try to cut medicaid so that only someone who is at 1/4 the poverty level income can qualify and then take helicopter ride on personal business and still seem outraged at being called on it really just redefines 'fat cat politician' to me.

At June 03, 2011 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I really like your blog—except when you fall back on tired old stereotypes of fat people.

At June 03, 2011 , Blogger Anne Johnson said...

Anon, I'm fat if you use the life insurance guidelines. Check out my portraits below. I reserve the right to chide a state governor who is cutting salaries but not calories. Somehow when he's telling state workers they need to tighten their belts, it just rings hollow.

More stereotypes. Sorry! Can't help it, I hate that man. And when I hate, anything I can aim at is fair game. He's a large target... ooops!

At June 03, 2011 , Blogger Debra She Who Seeks said...

They're all hypocrites. All of them.

At June 03, 2011 , Anonymous Alex Pendragon said...

Oh great, you just made me realize that our thought-challenged citizens will vote him into office for the same twisted reasons they voted DUBYA in, because he's "just like them", which in DUBYA's case was because he was ignorant, but in Christie's case because he's just plain (dare I say it?) FAT.

At June 07, 2011 , Blogger Intense Guy said...

I'm just glad they caught him and made him (well the GOP party) pay for this expense. But...

I wonder if this is what the GOP supporters thought their donation dollars were going?

Why do they (Politicians) think they should even try getting away with this sort of "stuff"?

I wonder how much Obama would owe for "personal use" of Air Force One. We taxpayers should NOT be paying for his campaigning rides...

At June 12, 2011 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

There are plenty of reasons to criticise the governor without attacking his weight, which is a seperate issue, having no relation to the fact that he's an ass. Love the blog, but hate the fat-bashing.


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