I have 24,856 profile views. I have 96 followers. So close, and yet so far.
My shameless plea is to you, my 96 readers. Would you please talk me up just four more notches? If I can get 100 followers, that's enough to convince the Snobville Fire Department to shut off the street for a block party.
Then all of you would be able to come to a vulture-themed block party on Sunday, October 31! We'll have people all dressed up in costumes, a bonfire, carved pumpkins, and pie pie pie! And we'll have mead! (Well, that is if you bring it. I stand alone among my friends in not knowing how to make, or where to purchase, good mead.)
I'm very grateful to have 96 followers, and I do hope I entertain you. If so, please phone a friend and ask them to join our "Gods Are Bored" family!
If I could be serious for a minute...
Wait. Who am I kidding? I'm never serious for a minute! I once made it through 46 seconds of seriousness, but that was as far as I got. And that was at my mom's funeral. You can't ask my mom to die again so that I'll be serious for a true 60 seconds.
Tell your friends that this is the place to visit for people and deities who want to dance, sing, grab all the beatnik madness of life and wring it joyfully across the abyss of despair!
Or just tell them about the block party. Whatever it takes. My goal is to have 100 followers by Samhain, and none of them relations or neighbors. Can you help this worthy cause?
Follow me, and I'll tell you how to become happy, sexy, rich, and famous!
Oh, wait. Too many religious blogs already make that claim.
Follow me, and I'll try to make you chuckle a few times a week.
The world may be all f****** up, but we're living through it anyway. Might as well laugh about it.
The way I see it, things work like this: If only the Bible is true, we're one and all screwed -- so let's be screwed with reckless abandon! And if there's more true than just the Bible, our gods will stand solid with us -- so let's engage deeply in life, so long as no one gets hurt and the furniture doesn't get stained.
Follow me! Damn the torpedoes. Full speed ahead!
Thank you, and may the bored gods find you and lead you, and by leading you, so may they restore their worth!
PS: You might want to bring a pair of sensible shoes. I hate it when people show up for a hike wearing flip flops.