Friday, August 17, 2007

On Ritual Sacrifice

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," where it unfortunately appears that we shortly will have to sacrifice a sizable nest of wasps that has taken root in our roof. We won't make a ritual of it, though, since we feel that wasps have a right to life.

Hecate has a post on some families in Florida who are complaining about their neighbors. Apparently the neighbors are Santeria, and part of their ritual requires sacrifical slaughter of an animal.

This, of course, horrifies the good Christian next door. Why, he might be having ribs at an outdoor barbecue, look over the fence, and see someone killing an animal! One guy actually said, "I don't want my kids to see a dead animal."

There mustn't be much road kill in Florida. Possums must be smarter there.


We at "The Gods Are Bored" would like to point out that ritual slaughter of living things is big business in this Christian nation. Look at this lavish display! Not only is Aunty Em dead, but so are those roses and carnations! They were grown in posh greenhouses, nurtured, fertilized, watered. They bloomed beautifully in response to this five-star treatment. For their efforts they get snapped from the living vine and stuck in a vase. And finally they get strewn in the sun on Aunty Em's grave, where they quickly wither into an unsightly mess.

You know what I don't want? I don't want my kids to see a dead flower! Down with all ritual slaughter of plant life! It's bad enough we've got to kill the eggplant for tonight's dinner. But this senseless carnage of carnations absolutely has to stop.

7 comments:

Jarred said...

And let's not forget that the animal being ritually slaughtered over the fence might well have lived a much more pleasant life (and met a more humane end) than the poor creature that died to provide those spare ribs. ;)

You always have a unique way of putting things in perspective.

Hecate said...

Oh, you should totally kill those wasps in a macbre ritual. First, you have to catch the individual wasps w/o getting stung and paint little faces on them. One could be Bush, one could be Cheney, you get the idea. Then, when you spray the Raid, you could envision each of them being resurrected as much nicer and more useful creatures -- sacrificial goats, for example. The fact that they're WASPS makes it that much more appropriate.

Dear NSA: this is humor.

Thomas said...

When a close friend of mine's father passed away they asked in the death announcements that flowers not be sent and that money that would have been spent on flowers be donated to a particular charity.

Aquila ka Hecate said...

Murdered flowers! I can't stand to see them!
No cut flowers to adorn my altar, thank you.
When they do die a natural death, I take their petals for incense.

Love,
Terri in Joburg

ronan said...

> There mustn't be much road kill in Florida.

We have tons of roadkill down here, mostly armadillos and racoons, but also the occasional coyote and small gator. But we have sky-blackening quantities of very impressive vultures, so the roadkill rarely lasts for long.

Anne Johnson said...

sky-blackening quantities of vultures ... oh my, I'm palpitating ... oh, my heart rate is soaring ... Ronan, you must be new here, because we at "The Gods Are Bored" worship vultures. The thought of a sky blackened with them induces ecstasy. Please send truckloads of Florida road kill ASAP.

ronan said...

> Ronan, you must be new here

Long time reader, and very infrequent commenter (and probably under a different nick). Great blog.