Monday, January 22, 2007

Why Are the Gods Bored?


Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," your primary pathway to prosperity!

Oh yeah, if only.

This is a site dedicated to worship and respect for the bored gods and goddesses. Some people think its author, moi, is actually a cynical atheist poking fun at all religion.
Not so.
We at "The Gods Are Bored" are not able, by virtue of familial and work obligations, to go off to a cave or a sacred spring for long-term meditation.

We would if we could, but we can't so we won't.

We at "The Gods Are Bored" are true polytheists. (poly=many; thea [or theo]=deity). That means we accord reverence and respect to all deities, but especially to the ones that have been overrun by zealous missionaries for other faiths.

You see, we at "The Gods Are Bored" feel that you can't respect a human being if you think that person's religion is wrong, or less worthy, or less meaningful than yours.

Our tongue-in-cheek put-down posts against the Christian god are motivated not by the deity himself, but by the actions of his followers and the intentions of the authors of his literary texts. We object to any religion that sees itself as the "only true religion."

It's human nature to want to share great discoveries with other people. For the love of fruit flies, where would we be without that impulse? But the same impulse that drives us to share the secrets of the internal combustion engine, the polio vaccine, and water purification can go sour when they are expended on matters philosophical and religious.

To put it another way: If there can be one heaven, why can't there be a thousand heavens? Or ten thousand? Or 100,000? Wouldn't you find it a pleasant surprise if every nice person you ever met, no matter what religion they followed (or none at all), found their way into a nice heaven?

Over the decades, when we at "The Gods Are Bored" worshipped in the Christian faith, we often found ourselves doubting the whole idea of life-after-death. We've since been convinced of its probability, thanks to authors like the recently-deceased Robert Anton Wilson, as well as personal experiences in our lives.

We at "The Gods Are Bored" therefore feel that every human being should be given a clean shot and his or her heaven of choice, so long as no one gets hurt and the furniture isn't stained.

Peace to all,

ANNE
THE MERLIN OF BERKELEY SPRINGS
"Rebel," by Seitou, reprinted only with permission of "The Gods Are Bored," please.

3 comments:

sophia said...

As much as I complain and vilify christians etu(thum, thum: breast-beating). I have felt sorry for their Gods and the amount of work that must pile up. I always have said if your need results fast pray to a god that hasn't seen a follower in many a eon. They are quick and to the point with help. Most of the time there is no working in mysterious ways either.

BBC said...

Heaven is the only sermon I've ever done. I did it in a UU Fellowship.

There are zillions of heavens, you decide what your heaven is, no one else can tell you what it is.

You're thinking about how things should be all the time anyway, that is you making your heaven.

I wish this God was bored, can you teach me how to be bored?

It's more like the Gods are stressed. And then they put drinking straw wrappers under their finger nails. LOL

Hugs.

buddy don said...

nuther grate post in a long line of em. in my pinion, eethur ye kin find yer heaven in the here n now or thay aint no heaven fer ye. n i caint bleeve wurds by innybidy could egg splain god or them gods, so we should all be humble bout it.

thays room fer em all n now wurds to contain nary a one of em in all thar glory.