Three Gross-Outs before Noon

 Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," sunny Sunday edition! I'm Anne Johnson, as always your hostess with the mostest!

Dang! Three gross-outs before noon, on a Sunday! Trigger warning: gross stuff follows.

First thing, I went out to sweep off my front porch and put away my Yule lights. There was an advertising flier in my mailbox from a new evangelical church in close proximity to my home. It was a glitzy production, including the following quip:

    From attraction and dating to marriage and sex, the Bible contains eye-opening advice...

yada yada yada.

I promptly sent this church a Facebook message, to whit:

Dear *** Church, I am a hedge witch, and my house is particularly warded against such intrusions as your flier in my mailbox. The wards are not hidden. Whoever was distributing fliers over the weekend should be notified.

That ought to give them pause.

Second thing, I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. On the way, I smelled it before I saw it: a dead skunk in the middle of the road. Looked up in the sky, and already there was an inquisitive vulture circling. But you know ... a busy road! The cars regularly go 40 miles an hour along there.

So, on my way back from the pharmacy, I pulled over and (trying not to heave) heaved that full-grown, freshly smashed specimen right to the curb. Now if the homeowners just leave it alone, it'll be gone in a few hours. 

Well, you know, as you might imagine, one can't pick up a dead skunk by the tail without suffering a little blowback. But after a thorough scrubbing my hands are fine, and the car doesn't reek.

Tempted to drive by later and see if the skunk attracted any customers.

Third thing, it's not a biggie. A regular occurrence, really. My Gamma Cat suffers from crystals. Not the kind on my altar. Some kind that make him uncomfortable and therefore an outside-of-the-box thinker. We've got him on urinary tract food, and he's been better about the box, but there's still quite the cleanup to do. But that's kind of a gross-out I'm used to.

You know what? N95 masks are great for cat clean up! Another use for a useful tool!

For the love of fruit flies. This all happened before noon. I hope the afternoon is less eventful regarding gross stuff. I've reached today's capacity.