Here I was, all full of vigor and great ideas. Time to move on, time to join the deluge of podcasts just the way I leapt into blogging in 2005! Time to stay edgy and relevant and young.
What's a girl to do? I hatched the idea to interview bored deities for a podcast! Sounds great, right?
I put out a call to all the bored Gods and Goddesses who so graciously enjoyed my hospitality over the past decade and a half, here at "The Gods Are Bored." I figured they would be all keen to do the latest, greatest social experiment.
Monday afternoon as I was tearing into my Memorial Day hamburger, a ... what shall I call it? ... delegation of Goddesses knocked politely at the front door. They wouldn't come inside, preferring to sit on the porch. At first I found this a hopeful sign, as it was an exceedingly temperate day.
Hel did the talking, which was surprising as I had never interviewed Her before. But the others sat primly nodding their heads in agreement.
Long story short, there will be no interviews with deities from Anne. I am relegated to that special realm of disdain reserved for women over 60 and under 102.
Hel did not mince words: Obsolete. Washed up. No longer relevant. Like, when was the last time you wielded a sword? Can you even lift one?
This is the kind of harsh shit you would expect from a Goddess like Hel, but the oh-so-polite pursing of lips and gentle nods of Her companions hurt more. I'm not gonna name names here. But it was a thorough inventory of Goddesses who have dipped my scones in their tea for years.
Well, then, what about the bored Gods -- as in, the male deities? Hel flicked her wrist and had me understand that the only deity who agreed to sit for a podcast interview was Zeus. And He only wants to "explain the whole swan thing."
Needless to say, this visitation from the Exulted Ones was brief. I watched Them go, the ingrates, and was sorely tempted to tell them this is how Yahweh got His stranglehold on the praise and worship racket.
Nobody in Johnsonia noticed that I was blue and distracted the rest of the day. If you're over 60, you know the feeling.
Now please excuse me while I go wallow in atheist snark on social media.
And fuck podcasts. They're boring.
5 comments:
I'm not surprised that Zeus volunteered. He has A LOT of explaining to do.
Perk up, Anne! We all still love you!
I just can't sit thru a Podcast, they Bore me, you're much too Interesting for one Anne!
to me, Blogs are an outlet for frustrated writers - pod cast are ego outlets.
the Ol'Buzzard
They've got a nerve! But, we knew that. Honestly, I can't say that this surprises me. Still, you are right. They are missing an opportunity to gain new followers.
Just about the last deity I'd be interested in hearing from is Zeus. He's already ruined swan appreciation for us.
Too bad, you have a good voice for radio/podcasts.
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