Friday, May 08, 2015

Change of Heart

It's funny what's left to learn when you reach your golden years.

I'm not exactly golden yet ... but I'm sure not green.

Last weekend my daughter The Spare and I went to a festival that we attend each year to honor Beltane and the faeries. We look forward to this festival eagerly, all year long. Yes, all through my long and horrible work year I dream of the festival. My work is awful, dreadful, stressful, unappreciated, and unrecognized. The festival is wonderful, awesome, happy, joyous, and otherwise perfect.

Except when it's not.

Spare and I had an unpleasant -- very unpleasant -- experience in a drum circle, featuring a man who acted disrespectfully and then made matters worse by laying the blame on Spare. She was reduced to tears, and I was shocked, shocked I tell you, to see someone act like this in what is supposed to be a nurturing space. But this happens sometimes with drumming. People who are really good at it can become annoyed with people who are not good at it, or only beginning to be good at it. But that's beside the point.

The point: We left the festival rather shaken up.

And then Monday came.

When I walked into my workplace, it looked and felt different to me. What do you know? NOTHING is all good or all bad! I spent 150 work days this year miserable, living only to go to the festival ... and then something stressful happened at the festival!

This week has been different than any I have ever spent on this job. And not because I got a great gift from my school for Teacher Appreciation Week. (Not even exaggerating, each teacher got a 12-ounce bottle of water with a packet of instant iced tea mix tied to it with a ribbon.) Things were different because of the shock I experienced at the festival.

Ask me how valuable it was to spend my Beltane weekend at the festival. I'll tell you: It was Earth-shaking. I am a different person now. I hope it lasts!

As for the festival itself, I now love it more than ever, because I love it a little less, and my work a lot more.

Thanks be to the bored gods for lessons learned in unexpected ways! This week has flown by. It's Friday, and I'm going home to drum.


Debra She Who Seeks said...

Tell The Spare not to take any notice of such a judgmental asshole. What he did goes against the true spirit of drumming.

Men can often be very competitive drummers. Sometimes they dominate a circle with their drumming, sometimes they can be perfectionists and judge others. That is why, when I had my own drumming circle, it was women-only and we did free style drumming (any form of drumming was okay). A spiritual drum circle is not held to reach a predetermined musical performance level but to link the hearts of the drummers with themselves, each other and the Divine.

No one should ever be singled out or shamed in a drumming circle. I am appalled to read of this man's actions.


I'm sure that we are all glad yellowdog wasn't there..I am a peaceful pagan until I'm not..I would have punched that dude out.

Anonymous said...

Boo Hiss. And having heard this story over the weekend and seeing the person you were talking about, it is just awful that you all had this experience on what is indeed supposed to be a supportive, community oriented event. I think in the future, I would tell someone who puts on the festival about such experiences so that they can address it w/the person, because I truly think it needs to be addressed when someone is made to feel bad unnecessarily by someone who ought to know better.