Wednesday, January 07, 2015

New Year's Resolutions

We all make them. Right? A number changes, and everything must change with it. Never mind that the next day is just like the previous day, and the next week will bring the same challenges as the week before. It's 2015! Time to resolve!

Anne's New Year's Resolutions 2015

1. I hereby resolve to look at one or more cat videos a day. I think I might have missed some days last year.

2. I hereby resolve to eat as much chocolate as I want, all year long. Again, I might have missed some opportunities to eat chocolate in 2014. This will not happen again.

3. I hereby resolve to wear silk pajamas to bed. I have a pair of silk pajamas. Sometimes I'm too lazy to look for them at bedtime, so I hope into the sheets in some stupid thermal shirt or something. Unacceptable.

4. I hereby resolve not to attend a single Christian church service this year. Excluding funerals of close family, should they arise. (Hopefully they won't arise.)

5. I hereby resolve to have a negative attitude at times. I've tried resolving to be more positive in the past. F*** that. Gonna be crabby whenever I feel like it.

6. I hereby resolve to begin smoking cigarettes. I'm 55, and I've never smoked. High time I start.

7. I hereby resolve to look at the weather report only once a day. This one will be hard, especially whenever a snowstorm is in the forecast.

8. I hereby resolve to see the Perseids meteor shower this year. There's to be a new moon that night.

9. I hereby resolve to avoid the state of Alabama completely and utterly, throughout the whole year.

10. I hereby resolve to continue writing "The Gods Are Bored" throughout 2015. This is the decade year for my blog!


Debra She Who Seeks said...

No, Anne, no! Stay away from the evil tobaccy weed! It'll ruin you!

Cliff said...

My favorite is #10. As to smoking tobacco, let me take care of that for you.


Anonymous said...

Yeah, nix the smoking one. It's dirty and expensive and addicting and smells bad and makes you smell bad. There's better things to smoke than tobacco.


yeah, right.

Chas Clifton said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chas Clifton said...

In Dale Pendell's Pharmaco/Poeia, he writes,

"If you can't kick a tobacco habit, you are not a doctor, and had best not proceed."