Yo ho, yo ho, the pirate's life for me! It be "Talk Like a Pirate Day," matey! Wait a pinch while I get Decibel the parrot on my shoulder, and then ...
Wave yer cutlass if you've ever worked for someone who ought to walk the plank!
I just found out this morning that a swabbie who bossed me around last year and saw to it I'd have too many students this year will be jumping ship. This former first mate third class, who I'll give the earned monnicker "Rat Face," will be a-leavin my ship and heading for the Great Sloop Snobville High! Arrrghhgh! I kid you not! The worst pirate that ever sailed the briny deep just got hired at Snobville High! I'd love to be a fly on the wall when Rat Face meets Mr. G. The incompetent leading the arrogant. Yar, won't take more than a stiff breeze to sink 'em like a stone!
Pieces of hate! Pieces of hate!
All this pirate talk puts me in the mood to worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster! A prayer to the Great Plate commences now:
Oh gracious Noodly Master,
Pasta perfection for pirates,
Promise through thy gracious tendrils
That all incompetent and arrogant sons of sea-slugs
Will be cursed with having to deal with each other.
Which, through Thy grace
Will lead to duels with pistols or cutlasses, or just plain ugly sneers.
Cast down the mighty, arrghghgh, like so much slop over the starboard bow!
In the name of All Noodles, ramen.