Friday, July 03, 2009

More Work by Fierce Bad Faeries


Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" Ask not what your faeries can do for you. Ask what you can do for your faeries.

My daughter The Heir and I will be attending a wedding next Saturday. The Heir's college roommate is the bride. The bride is 19. She is a conservative Christian, daughter and granddaughter of conservative Christians. When The Heir went to this young woman's bridal shower, the grandmother asked Heir: "So. What church do you go to?" (Like the Grinch, Heir thought up a lie, and thought it up quick.)

I have to drag my carcass to this wedding, deep in the heart of Amish country, because the drive is long and complicated, and Heir is notoriously rough on automobiles.

Lo and behold, the other day Spare and I got an invitation from Otter the River God (from the fairy festival) to a block party. Same day as the fundie wedding in Amish land. Closer drive by about 45 minutes.

When I floated the idea to Heir that perhaps her dad could take her to the wedding, she pulled the sympathy card. Hadn't I already done enough fun fairy stuff with Spare, and without her?

Couldn't argue about that. So, off to the wedding I go.

Except for one thing. I can't find the pants to my Church Lady Pant Suit.

The top is in the closet. The matching pants are nowhere to be found. I could swear I had the doggone thing on not long ago for some other dreadful event. How could I lose a pair of ugly blue linen pants?

How, indeed. The resident faeries, hearing of my decision to forego a fun block party for a church wedding of two horny but abstinent 19-year-olds, promptly disposed of the pants. My guess is that I'll never find them, ever.

So now I'm off to the consignment shop to find a dress suitable for a church wedding, one that will also see me through an upcoming D.A.R. event. I hate dresses, unless they're gooey re-enactor gowns.

Bad faeries! Bad! No chocolate tonight!

Image: My favorite bad faerie, "Rebel," by Seitou.

8 comments:

Alex Pendragon said...

she says, with a wink...........

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

weirdest thing..there is a pair of strange blue pants in my closet and one of my tshirts is missing...

labsurferdude said...

Maybe you should allow the faeries to pick out your outfit for the wedding? Give everyone there something to remember...

Lori - MN said...

The Bad Fey is Great!
But maybe your house Fey are trying to get you to buy something different. Blue linen? Look for light tan. Or basic black. Maybe splurge of a hat and some silk flowers. Think the Ascot Races in My Fair Lady.

Anne Johnson said...

How did I get a Dallas Cowboys t-shirt in my closet?

Pom said...

I must have misinterpreted the Heir's comment regarding "fun fairy stuff with the Spare". To me it sounded like a cry for help - rescue from this wedding and participation in the "fun fairy stuff" for herself! Are you sure she wouldn't rather ditch the wedding and go to the party as well as spare you the need of purchasing a dress that will only make you miserable?

Or maybe something was lost in translation...

Lori - MN said...

On the other hand, why dress so 'blend in'? Get something you love or you already have. You're going, isn't that enough of a challenge?

Anne Johnson said...

Heir wants to go. She loved her roommate, even if she doesn't approve of this hasty marriage. I did buy a dress, but only because I have a D.A.R. event this month that is rather formal. All D.A.R. events are rather formal.