All the hoo-hah over Harry Potter being Satanic has made me laugh, because Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials, also a trilogy for tween/teen readers, makes no bones about its loathing of organized religion in general and Christianity in particular. As I read the three books cover to cover, I kept asking myself, "Wow. How come these tomes haven't been banned by the usual suspects?" I mean, it's not every day when you can read a book where the heroine and hero kill God.
(Pullman won the Whitbread Award, the British equivalent of the National Book Award, for The Amber Spyglass, the final volume in the trilogy. It was the first time a children's book had ever won such a prestigious award in the UK.)
Back to my question: Why hasn't this trilogy been banned?
Fear not, seekers of truth! Over the weekend, the Catholic Church issued a statement urging its members not to go see the movie based on the first volume, The Golden Compass. Concerned parents are having the trilogy stripped from the shelves of school libraries even as we speak!
My guess is that the film version of The Golden Compass minimizes the anti-Christian bias. But if the filmmakers wander into vols. 2 and 3 for cinematic brilliance, they won't be able to avoid the God thang.
Banning books traditionally increases interest in them, so we at "The Gods Are Bored" are thrilled that His Dark Materials has finally found its way onto the list. If you're looking for a good Xmas gift for that younger reader in your sphere of influence, get thee to a small, independent bookstore post haste!
And now, in honor of banned books, here's another banned hero, Captain Underpants (by Dav Pilkey, it's must reading for the crazy kid in your life)! From one of his books, the Captain has a little fun exercise for you today.
Discover your real name!
1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your New first name:
a = snickle
b = doombah
c = goober
d = cheesey
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = dumbo
h = farcus
i = dorky
j = doofus
k = funky
l = boobie
m = sleezy
n = sloopy
o = fluffy
p = stinky
q = slimy
r = dorfus
s = snooty
t = tootsie
u = dipsy
v = sneezy
w = liver
x = skippy
y = dinky
z = zippy
2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:
a = dippin
b = feather
c = batty
d = burger
e = chicken
f = barffy
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = farkle
j = monkey
k = flippin
l = fricken
m = bubble
n = rhino
o = potty
p = hamster
q = buckle
r = gizzard
s = lickin
t = snickle
u = chuckle
v = pickle
w = hubble
x = dingle
y = gorilla
z = girdle
3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:
a = butt
b = boob
c = face
d = nose
e = hump
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = head
l = tush
m = chunks
n = dunkin
o = brains
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = doodle
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = frack
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = hiney
z = juice
Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is: Fluffy Chucklefanny.
Banned, banned, banned! Can I please buy 12 copies?
FROM SLOOPY POTTYSHORTS
THE MERLIN OF DORFUS HAMPSTERDOODLE
