Imbolc 2023

 Imbolc greetings from "The Gods Are Bored!" I have such good news for you!

When I started this blog, I had no problem getting Queen Brighid the Bright to come for tea and scones on Imbolc. This year I reached out, and her people got back to me. She's booked through mid-July! Oh, my friends. She's not bored anymore!

All hail this crazy modern Internet, with all the features that allow Gods and Goddesses to find new praise and worship teams! And no one deserves the p & w more than Brighid.

Well, even though She can't be here, I still want to offer an Imbolc prayer to Queen Brighid the Bright. She will always fly above my altar as the One who showed me The Way.

Bridget of the mantle, encompass us
Lady of the Lambs, protect us
Beneath thy mantle gather us
And restore us to memory.

Foremother of our foremothers,
Foremothers strong,
Take our hands in yours
Remind us how
To kindle the hearth.

To keep it bright,
To preserve the flame
Our hands within your hands,
Your hands upon our hands,
To keep the light,
Both day and night.

The mantle of Bridget about us,
The protection of Bridget upon us,
The memory of Bridget within us
keeping us
from harm, from ignorance, from heartlessness,
this day and night,
from dawn until dark,
from dark until dawn.

Imbolc 2022

 It's Imbolc here at "The Gods Are Bored," and I must say this is a very special holy day. We're socked under some snow, but the days are bright longer. Already we have gained more than a half hour of daylight.

I feel like a spring bulb just beginning to quicken under the frozen ground. Still awaiting word on the property I hope to buy ... you know how that is. But Imbolc is the holy day of yet-to-come, and I'm feeling it in my bones. Something is stirring.

Something has happened in the 17 years I've been writing this blog. The Goddess Queen Brighid the Bright has gone from bored to busy. I could not even schedule her for an interview today. She now has a vibrant and growing praise and worship team! No more lurking behind "Candlemas" and sainthood for her. She's on the move!

This is the season of home and hearth, of the interior work we all have to do to keep our souls spiffy.

It is also the time of making plans and of anticipating the spring. We've been through the wringer the past two years. There's been a pestilence abroad in the land. It has claimed many people's lives. Now, though, there are vaccines and medications for the illness. No one need get a deadly case if they follow the protocols. Look how far we have come since we all crept home in March of 2020, fearing for our lives!

Let's prepare to plant and harvest the way we did before Covid came along. Imbolc is the time of preparation. Can you feel the possibilities in the air? Even if the Goddess is too busy to pop in and chat? I can.

Bright Imbolc blessings to you, readers of "The Gods Are Bored!" Light the candle, everything's all right.

Imbolc 2020

[Enter Queen Brighid the Bright]

Brighid: Anne? Anne! Are you home? My goodness, look at this place! Gamma! Where's Anne? Oh, look at Gamma's cat bowl! It's empty!

Anne: Oh, Goddess! Look at me. It's the first Imbolc on a Saturday that I can remember, and I'm just so low and listless.

Brighid: This is so unlike you, Anne.

Anne: I'm worn to a frazzle, Goddess. It's more than the day-to-day grind. I haven't had my usual vim and vigor since 2016. For all my talk of fighting the good fight, it just gets harder every day. My creativity is shot, my daughters are struggling, my husband is nocturnal. I've lost touch with some people I love. My farm is gone, my youth is gone, and there's nothing ahead but Republicans and corona virus.

Brighid: Dear child, have faith! The winter is turning.

Anne: What winter? We haven't had winter! It has snowed for one hour. It's been warm as March and April since December, which was warm as September. And September was a veritable July.

Brighid: I have noticed this curious change in temperature. It does confuse Me. But in the long, thousands-years history of humankind, the weather has ebbed and flowed. Sometimes it's colder. Sometimes it's warmer. But My light never changes. Always, always in this week the light seeps back into the land. Always, always in these weeks the blackness of the morning gives way to soft gray. Don't pay heed to the warmth, Anne, pay heed to the light.

Anne: A beautiful sentiment, Goddess! I wish I could feel the light. But the darkness seems to reign supreme. Our nation and Your beautiful green land are both under a blight. Here they say "Make America Great Again," and over there they say "Brexit." Both are a curse.

Brighid: And yet the light returns. As it did in the days of yore. You must keep the faith. Light will shine into this mess. Take My word for it.

Anne: Oh, Goddess. How could I not take your word? You're a Goddess. And a smart one. Beautiful, too. No wonder you've inspired so much poetry and art!

Brighid: Flattery is one thing. Tea and muffins are another. Look at this nice cream and butter I brought!

Anne: Well, I do have some muffins ... but they're low-calorie bran.

Brighid: We'll make do, Anne. Fresh butter makes the most ridiculous muffin taste good.

Anne: Hold that optimistic thought, Goddess. I'll warm up the muffins.

Brighid: And fill Gamma's bowl. He looks hungry!

Imbolc 2017

All hail and welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" Today is Imbolc, the lambing season, when all the candles are kindled and all the faithful stay home to freshen their hearths!

Well, that was then. This is now.

Now I do truly hope Queen Brighid the Bright will forgive me, but I must squirrel away the sick days I will actually be compensated for. This will be the final Imbolc that finds me healthy enough to work, so Goddess ... please understand. I had to go to work today. My religious holidays are not recognized by the state of New Jersey, and my compensated sick time ends with June 2017.

My home and hearth has been tense since November 9 and especially since January 20. Tempers are short and anxieties high. Every night brings a new and alarming report. If that isn't bad enough, I have the unfortunate habit of reading Yahoo comments. Today I saw a little note from someone who wants to shoot and bury all "libtards." Yes. Shoot and bury.

Although I feel extremely unworthy, I will still petition the Goddess to preserve my home and hearth, to restore what passes for balance in this environment, to keep minds easy -- including mine.

Imbolc is a good moment to reflect that at least we have seasons, that the darkness can diminish in the sky, if not in the headlines. This is the moment between solstice and equinox, rolling toward a new growing season. Let's light the candles, it'll be all right. Light the candles, it'll be all right.

Interview with a Goddess: Imbolc 2015

Greetings from "The Gods Are Bored" on Imbolc, the festival day that honors Queen Brighid the Bright!

And what do you think? I took the day off from work and cooked the Snow Day turkey, and would you believe it? Queen Brighid has stopped by for a steaming plate! Please give a warm, wonderful, Gods Are Bored welcome to Goddess Brighid!

Anne: Thank you so much for stopping by, Great Goddess! What an honor to have you here on Your feast day!

Brighid: How nice of you to invite Me to your Imbolc dinner table.

Anne: I praise and worship You all the time, since You are my Patroness Goddess and the Guardian of my altar. But just lately I've been thinking about You even more.

Brighid: Why is that?

Anne: I got a new polyester blanket for ten bucks at Ross Dress for Less. I even got a senior citizen discount on it -- my first ever!

Brighid: That's my sensible Annie!

Anne: Here it is. Feel it!

Brighid: Oh! How did they get it that soft?

Anne: Completely synthetic fabric! Nothing natural about this blanket at all. I have no idea what technology went into making it, but my soul, isn't it just the softest, most gooey blankie you've ever touched?

Brighid: Best in the apparent world, most certainly. And I like that shade of green. There's not a single plant in all the world that is that shade of green, but it's pretty.

Anne: Indeed! And I've been sleeping like a buzzard under this artificial textile. I wish my grandfather was alive to see it! He spent his whole career in the synthetic fabric industry. I'll bet this would fascinate him. Anyway, when I pull its buttery softness around me, I think of Your mantle that you spread upon the world, back when it was a place of chaos and savage beasts.

Brighid: Yes, My silver mantle. To this day some people call Me Brighid of the Mantle.

Anne: That was a straight-up swell gesture of You, Goddess. What would the world have been like without Your blessed silver mantle? Unfit for humans, at the very least. Every time I cuddle up under my new gooey fake fabric blankie, I think of Your magic mantle and how it tamed the world. Thank You for doing that.

Brighid: You're welcome, Anne. Thanks for remembering.

Anne: In my mind I picture You spreading Your mantle out. Like, see how I lay my totally artificial blanket softly over my bed? I imagine You doing it that way. Or, like a mother covers up her sleeping child. Or, how a camper lays down a ground cloth before erecting a sturdy tent. Ummm.....

Brighid: Go ahead, I can read your mind anyway.

Anne: ... how we lay blankets down before a picnic to deter the pismires.

Brighid: You speak so eloquently! My praise and worship team has always valued intelligent women.

Anne: It's nice to feel valued by your deity. In some praise and worship systems, women don't really feel the love.

Brighid: And that's a crying shame! You should go door-to-door, Anne.

Anne: I wouldn't presume. But I'm glad You call me Yours, Goddess.

Brighid: Forever and always.

Anne: Would you like a serving of blueberry cobbler for the road? Nothing artificial about the blueberries!

Brighid: Thank you, and thank you for the altar ... are those vulture feathers?

Anne: Yes.... ummmmmm ......

Brighid: Oh, don't be embarrassed! No liturgy, no worries! If you want your wand to have the feathers of a carrion-eating scavenger, that's fine by Me. I will continue to bless your home and hearth.

Anne: I love you, Queen Brighid the Bright.

Brighid: And I love you too, Anne. All is well.

Imbolc 101

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," on Imbolc 2011! Blessed be the Goddess who presides over our homes and hearths, the Goddess who sparks our creativity and who bathes us with Her warmth! It was She who spread her cape over the world to rid it of evil creatures and make way for humankind. Don't believe me? Walk outside tomorrow morning, and you will find threads of that cape sparkling on the ground.

There's no "written-in-stone" scripture to tell us how to praise and worship on Imbolc, the holy day of Queen Brighid the Bright. I see this as an opportunity. We at "The Gods Are Bored" are not dedicated to any sort of liturgy that can't evolve with changing circumstances.

That being said, here are my tips for those of you who want to celebrate this sacred day.

1. It's against our green intentions, but just for this one night, turn on every light in your house. Have your whole home blazing in electric glory. This will emphasize to you the blessings Queen Brighid has visited upon you, to provide you with a warm home that beats back the cold and gloom.

2. Be mindful of the popular traditions. Groundhog Day? You're kidding me, right? Isn't that disrespectful of Queen Brighid? Pish tosh! Imbolc symbolizes the crushing of winter by the first vestiges of spring. In our modern times, this is played out by a fat rodent held up for cameras. So what? Either way we have only six more weeks of cold weather, and then spring arrives! Embrace your inner groundhog.

3. Do you go to work? Ah, yes. Anne's personal dilemma. After all, the only authentic holy days on the Celtic calendar are August 1, October 31, May 1, and February 2. Can you imagine our nation's Christians going about their daily toil on Good Friday? Well, the truth of the matter is that many of them do, and they aren't struck by lightning. And their god is big on lightning strikes, so I hear. So if our nation's workers can shuffle in and punch the time clock on Good Friday, then we who hold Queen Brighid dear can take joy in our toil and work on Imbolc ... just not very hard, and leave early if you can.

4. Do you want to honor Queen Brighid in a way that will touch her heart? Build a fire, write a poem, bake a cake for your kids, light a candle against this dreadful winter chill. Make some resolutions and have Her bind you to them. Reach down and touch the earth. Find the softness of Her mantle through the week-old snowdrifts. Know in your heart that when the Sun warms the Earth, you will either be here to feel the change ... or with Her in the Summerlands.

5. Laugh. Always laugh. If you can't chuckle, chortle, guffaw, snort, or snicker, get a coach and work on it until you can roar! Delete all mental files having to do with self-pity and guilt. Back up the files that empower you to see the humor in everything that harms no one. If you are worried about politics at this time, just remember that Queen Brighid has seen it all and survived every last bit of it. Tra la la! Laugh!

6. Pour exactly 8 ounces of wine outside for the faeries. Neither pour thou 6 ounces nor 9. Eight thou must pour. And then slap down a nice piece of high-end dark chocolate. Voila! You've pleased the faeries and also satisfied your inner Monty Python. Win win.

More free advice from "The Gods Are Bored!" How can we give this away? I don't know, it's dumb luck so far. Or the work of Queen Brighid the Bright. We prefer to consider the latter. Helps us sleep at night.