The Consequences of a Reading Disability

Boring. Boring. Boring. Why would anyone who isn't a teacher want to read about reading disabilities?

Answer: Because Donald Trump has one.

Over the weekend we had more victims of the public health crisis known as gun violence. I have written so much about this topic that there's nothing I can even say about it anymore.

However, when Donald Trump stood at the podium Monday morning and read off a teleprompter, he  still got the name of the city wrong. He said "Toledo" instead of "Dayton."

The reason he said this is because the teleprompter said "Texas and Ohio."

It's hard to read from a teleprompter. I've done it. But there are many cases where Trump has stumbled over text on a teleprompter. (That's how we got the fearless Colonial army storming the airports.)

Donald Trump likes to rant and rave speak extemporaneously. He is also infamous for refusing to read anything longer than one page, no matter how complex the issue.

Lots of people hate to read, and there are many ways to overcome reading disabilities. There are also quite a number of ways to compensate for an inability to read well -- especially if you're rich. I've seen students of mine offer to pay classmates to "help" with reading assignments. I've seen parents do reading assignments for their children. I've seen kids pass off assignments from year to year, I've seen them crib stuff off the Internet, and I've seen them assiduously "reading" books that have been made into movies.

The trouble with these avoidance techniques is that you can't learn nearly as much if you struggle to read. You inevitably wind up with less general knowledge than your peers, because it's just not possible for family and friends and the t.v. to do all your reading for you. So you grow up, and you're not stupid, but you just don't know as much as other people. Your knowledge gap only widens if you're in a job that requires reading, and you don't do it.

This is all well and good if you want to spend your life exploiting pretty women and stiffing workers who've contracted to you and more or less hanging with the worst riff raff in the leisure class. But if you need to make an honest living, or you need to apply expertise to a difficult job, you are working at a great disadvantage.

Any questions?

Donald Trump's Vitamin Deficiency

Hi there, and welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" My name is Anne Johnson (really and truly), and you can consider me a primary source on all things Donald Trump!

I know you're skeptical about that, but hey ... check how long this blog has been in existence, and you'll see that I have a metric ton of credibility!

This is why I have chosen today to talk about a tricky little subject: Donald Trump's vitamin deficiency.

I have it on very good authority (Marla Maples), that Donald Trump suffers from biotin deficiency. Look at the symptoms:

Now, you might say, "Anne, the man looks great for his advanced age!" And you would be right. But did you ever ask yourself how he can pull that off? Makeup artists, of course! He spends more time in the chair every morning than his lovely wife. (They do use the same artist, though.)

People get biotin deficiencies by eating raw eggs. Ask anyone, and they will tell you: Ever since Donald Trump saw the first Rocky movie at age 28, he has been drinking a half dozen raw eggs every morning, just like his hero, Rocky.

Now you're asking, "Hasn't anyone told Donald Trump that consuming raw eggs is bad for him?" Of course, readers. Of course! Everyone tells him that consuming six raw eggs every morning is the reason he's bald, hallucinating, and tingly, with red, oozing eye sores. He doesn't listen. In fact, my source (Marla Maples) tells me that if you even bring it up, he jumps down your throat and/or whacks you with a rolled-up newspaper, depending on your position in his hierarchy.

So, you heard it here first: Donald Trump is biotin deficient. But if you don't believe me, look it up. Why would you do that, though? You're a smart person, and very busy.