Monday, April 25, 2005

HIPPIES IN ALL BUT NAME

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" On this blog we concede that our deities don't dress as nice as the pope.

But today we have important business to discuss. We need to find a good working name for the small but vocal minority who now call themselves "Christians" but who are becoming more and more like hippies every day. I'm not talking about your liberal New Agers here. I'm talking about Dobson and his crowd.

Don't like the way the government is treating your special interest? PROTEST! MAKE DEMANDS! MAKE NOISE! TRY TO CHANGE THE CONSTITUTION!

And hey, it's cold out there. So we won't have a rock concert or a be-in, or a march. We'll just sit in padded seats in some mega-church, beam our views over the airwaves, and MAKE OUR DEMANDS HEARD! BY CRACKY, WE ELECTED "W," AND NOW HE HAS TO GET ALL THOSE BIBLE-TOTING JUDGES INTO PLACE! WE WANT ACTION! A-C-T I-O-N!

We'll call it JUSTICE SUNDAY.

Considering that "Summer of Love" was already taken, that's a pretty good title.

So, what do we call these people? They just found out that the majority of Americans don't want any particular religion codified into law. Perfectly sane federal judges said "No can do." Now these Dobson freaks are takin' their views to the streets!

HEY HO, HEY HO! LIBERAL JUDGES GOTTA GO!

Folks, I say we either call them "Chippies" or "Dobbies." And since Dobby is a well-known character in a certain banned book (that is, by the way, first rate), I guess that leaves "Chippies."

If you are trying to pull down the wall between church and state, you're one of two things. You're either Taliban, or you're a Chippie. And take it from someone who is old enough to remember the "Summer of Love": The louder you are, the phonier you are.

Frist, you're a Chippie. DeLay, you're a Chippie. Dobson, you're the leader of the Chippies - and your second-in-command (if he can kick the narcotics) is the Rush-Man.

Power to the (family values) people. Right on.
Peace, Anne (wasn't a hippie, isn't a Chippie)

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