Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" It's nearing New Year's Day 2014, and we Two Street Stompers are
But more about the Stompers later in the week! Right now, 2013 is closing down, and it's time for those important resolutions ... you know, the ones you always make, and then epically fail on, within weeks?
I've never made a single New Year's resolution that I have kept. Not one. Oh, I've resolved this and that over the years, especially when I was younger. Nothing stuck. Let's face it. If you behave a certain way on December 31, and you have behaved that way during the entirety of 2013, it's highly unlikely that you'll suddenly be inspired to change drastically just because you have to remember to put a new number on your paperwork.
Here's a short list of things you should not resolve to do in 2014:
give up chocolate
give up beer
give up swearing
give up having a negative attitude (whatever the fuck that means)
ease up on the caffeine
Come on, already! If you want to resolve to exercise more, why don't you wait until April 15, when the weather is nice? As for giving up chocolate, well, I can't speak for you, but if I had to crawl to Mexico on hands and knees to get chocolate, I would do it. Even in my most resolute years, I never resolved to give up chocolate. Life is short! Any day spent without chocolate is a day you can't get back!
I've been around the pike a few times, and this is what I will say. Occasions arise when we all have to take stock and accept some lifestyle changes. This stock-taking does not occur on January 1. It happens when it happens. So ditch the resolutions. They only cause you to have a negative attitude about yourself. Resolve to live each day at a time! How are you going to respond when some idiot who's texting while driving rear-ends your car? "Oh, say, I resolved not to swear anymore, but look at what you did to my car, you naughty person!"
The road to Hell is paved with New Year's resolutions. Don't add another brick to that motorway.
Labels: free advice