Thursday, August 11, 2011

Questions I Would Like To Ask the Republican Presidential Candidates

I bet you're like me. I bet you can't stand one more ludicrous "debate" in which a bunch of well-groomed politicians promise us jobs, jobs, jobs.

Here are the questions I would like to pose to the Republican candidates:

1. Did you finish grade school?

2. We know you're praying to win the election. What does God get if He helps you?

3. Given that Armageddon will arrive prior to the next election, why are you even in this debate? Is your faith in Scripture that shaky?

4. Give three examples of successful "trickle down."

5. When did Social Security become a government hand-out? The people have paid for it from their checks for decades.

6. Other than repealing Roe v. Wade, gay marriage, and medicinal marijuana laws, how else will you bring our nation closer to the Old Testament?

7. (Tough one) What magazine or newspaper did you read this week? Online counts, so long as it's not "Bachelorette" gossip.

8. Sing our National Anthem, all of the lyrics.

9. How do you plan to handle the pesky problems of Paganism and atheism? Internment camps or deprogramming?

10. Who did your makeup?

4 comments:

Anti Kate said...

This needs a "Me, Too!" button.

Lavanah said...

"Did you finish grade school?"
"Given that Armageddon will arrive prior to the next election, why are you even in this debate? Is your faith in Scripture that shaky?"

Dear lady, I do love you!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Now THOSE are the questions that will reveal their true stripes!

alex Pendragon said...

When you repeal Obama Care, will you give up YOUR government benefits in order for us to balance the budget that George Bush totally destroyed?