Friday, June 25, 2010

Figures It's Not Men

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," summer edition! We are fiercely dedicated to providing you with more of our ground-denting, earth-splattering commentary this summer! It's been a long, cold, lonely school year -- and is sure to be a long, grueling, workshop-filled July and August -- but damn the textbooks, full speed ahead!

Are you a weather buff? I am! Like my grandfather before me, I could sit and watch the Weather Channel all day, even when it's bright and sunny.

Of course, it's always more interesting to watch the Weather Channel when there's a line of tornado-laden thunderstorms moving in from the west, or a pink/white rain/snow line inching ever closer to your home. Admit it. You love Doppler radar, don't you? No? Then don't ever start looking at it! You'll be a Doppler junkie in no time. Seriously, I do my Doppler check before even opening my emails.


If you know that NOAA is not a dude who built a big boat that couldn't hold dinosaurs, you're like me. Addicted to frontal boundaries!

We weather junkies have been speculating about atmospheric conditions relating to the Gulf oil spill. A good portion of the East Coast's precipitation comes from moisture gathered into the clouds over the Gulf of Mexico.

News is just in from credible sources like the Huffington Post (search Raining Oil) that Louisiana is already getting oily rain that leaves behind a sheen on blacktop and other smooth surfaces. Of equal concern is the chemical dispersant Corexit 9500, currently being used to break up the spill. Oil may not evaporate easily, but what about Corexit? And what is in Corexit 9500 to begin with?

"The Gods Are Bored" is a blog, not a sharp piece of professional investigative reporting. But if I was one of the few remaining investigative journalists with a salary, I sure would be researching this. What is in Corexit 9500, and what will it do to us when it rains down on us?

Thank goodness for fine professional work like this blog, huh? I know exactly where to turn for every answer.

The Oracle at Delphi predicts that Oil Rain and Corexit Rain will begin polluting large portions of the United States as soon as hurricane season arrives. Come winter, Oil Snow and Corexit Snow will blanket the East Coast.

Wow, that's going to look beautiful -- snow with a rainbow sheen! And think how zippy your sled will be on it! I don't know about you, but I'll be watching the Weather Channel more than ever, just waiting for that Oil Snow!

America, America. God shed His grace on thee. And look at the results. I'd rather worship a buzzard.

5 comments:

Sarita Rucker said...

*shudder*

By the way, my verification word is "cryin." Hmm...

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

hot..more hot...lots more hot...followed by really fucking hot..go texas.
my word verivacation is"rallyin"

Debra She Who Seeks said...

First acid rain, now oily rain! What next?

THE Michael said...

Apocolypse, Apocolypse, Rah, Rah, Rah!!!

Emily said...

I suppose it needs to be said, so here I go:

At least they have capped the underwater gusher. I mean, with hurricane season upon us, it's bad enough the millions (billions?) of gallons of crude are going to start raining down on the Gulf coast (and possibly further afield); the silver lining is that there is some sort of limit as to quantity.

Then again, do you all know what happens when you give a small child a small chocolate chip? The quantity of surface area that can be covered by one tiny little chip is truly astounding. Don't like to think about how far that crude will stretch, given the opportunity... :-(