Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Saying Happy Birthday to the Spare

Dear Spare,


Today is your sixteenth birthday. Here are some fine sentiments for you to ponder as you celebrate.

1. Way to pick a birthday, dummy! You'll owe the government your party money every year.

2. Happy birthday to someone who has the wisdom to stay in the car when her mother is dancing under a tree filled with 62 turkey vultures.

3. You're Old Greggg.

4. Free boat ride for 3.

5. I wonder if the boxing lessons I bought you will come back to haunt me some day.

6. It's never too soon to begin hunting for the right husband, so I just registered you with www.marryamillionaire.com. You're welcome!

7. As you pursue a career in theater, just remember what they said about Fred Astaire after his first Hollywood screen test: "Can't sing, can't act, can dance a little."

8. Dr. Seuss's art teacher told him to seek another profession besides drawing.

9. Sometimes I wish you were still the Library Baby.

10. They say beauty is only skin deep, but you prove otherwise.

11. Blessed be for avoiding alcohol, drugs, shopping malls, dudes who own motorcycles, cigarettes, Republicans, and cliques.

12. Laugh and the world laughs with you ... but you already knew that.

13. There are two things one can do when one has a weird, eccentric mother. The first option is to distance yourself from the eccentricity. The second is to embrace it and participate in it. Thank you for choosing Plan B.

14. I love you dearly, and so does Baby Lion.

15. Couldn't ask for a better partner for the Fairie Festival at Spoutwood Farm.

16. It may be your birthday, but do your homework and clean up your room! Slacker.

JK LOL. BFFL

Mom

11 comments:

THE Michael said...

No teenage angst? You have her drugged, don't you?

Hecate said...

Blessings on your Aires.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Oh, to be Sweet Sixteen again! . . . Enjoy yourself, Spare, adulthood looms!

Nettle said...

Happy Birthday Spare!

Davo said...

Jeepers, nice lookin' bird. Call me when ya get ta age 65 .. heh.

Pom said...

A very happy birthday to you, Miss Spare!

iDi said...

Happy Birthday! =)

Maebius said...

And a very merry Birthiversary from me too! 16, now you can legally drive your mom [crazy].

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

Goddess bless the child.

Mama Kelly said...

Happy Birthday Miss Spare. May the year ahead be filled with more blessings than you can count.

Gruvkitty said...

Happy Birthday - one day late! Adorable photo and very sweet sentiments.