Tuesday, March 02, 2010

The Parable of the Very Faithful Vulture

Book of Anne 3:2


1. Once in a past year, the village of Wenonah suffered a dreadful ice storm. 2. The damage was extensive to homes, trees, and wildlife. 3. A kindly woman looked out her back window that morning, and lo, she did behold a most distressing sight. 4. On the lawn in her small back yard sat a turkey vulture. It seemed to be injured. Nearby, on her fence, another turkey vulture sat watching the injured bird. 5. The kindly lady went out into her yard, and verily the injured vulture did not fly. The other vulture did fly, but only to a nearby tree. When the lady went back inside, the vulture that could fly returned to the fence. 6. Thinking quickly, and being of a supremely holy temperament, the lady brought a space heater from her living room, and too, she brought an extension cord. 7. The holy lady did set up in her back yard the space heater and left it where the injured vulture could approach. As the lady watched from the window, and the other vulture from the fence, the injured vulture approached the space heater and did stand near to it. 8. The lady saw what she had done and thought it good. 9. After a period of 30 minutes had passed, the injured vulture spread its wings and flew to the fence. Lo and behold, its wings were not injured but frozen. They needed only to thaw in order for it to fly again. 10. The whole time the frozen vulture was thawing, its mate sat patiently on the fence, watching. When the frozen vulture was able to fly, the pair flew off together. 11. Therefore I say to thee, he who pair bonds is holy like unto the vulture, for he will raise fine chicks and live in a secure tree and eat the thickest intestines. 12. He will dwell all his days with a companion who will not desert him in time of need, nay, but stay closely at his side through danger, toil, and snare. 13. But he who cleaves not to the pair bond will be last to the feast. He will find only bones and ants where once lay fine, thick intestines. He will curse and gnash his beak, saying, "Wherefore is my mate, and my chicks, and my nest? For all is gone, and I have only bones and ants for my sustenance."

The word of Anne for the people of Vulture. Thanks be to Vulture.

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10 Comments:

At March 02, 2010 , Blogger Maebius said...

I can only paraphrase the biblical "Jeremiah 29:11" in response to this, substituting Lord for Vulture, since it amounts to the same idea, and blessing for such an awesome story, and changing verse 12 completely. :)

(11) For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future,(12) and lift you up on Buzzard wings at the end of your days, to join me in Heaven.

 
At March 02, 2010 , Blogger Debra She Who Seeks said...

There's no better preparation for writing the Gospels than writing a blog. Just ask those other four guys.

 
At March 02, 2010 , Blogger Hecate said...

I love you.

 
At March 02, 2010 , Blogger THE Michael said...

Has it occured to anybody that the buzzard on the fence was simply doing what buzzards do; waiting for dinner? I can imagine it was saying to itself, "COOL! That kind lady is warming my dinner or me!"

 
At March 03, 2010 , Blogger Sarita Rucker said...

I was also thinking that the buzzard on the fence was waiting for dinner...

By the way, I like the lady in the story. And I'm guessing she's someone we all know and love? :)

 
At March 03, 2010 , Anonymous mr64 said...

what got you into buzzards?

 
At March 03, 2010 , Blogger Anne Johnson said...

64: I've just loved buzzards like some people love rat finks ... since I was a kid. I'm glad I don't have to collect buzzards! Just look in the sky, and there they are.

 
At March 03, 2010 , Anonymous Mr64 said...

Yes, your hobby may be less expensive than mine. Less competitive too (thanks to eBay and other collectors. You just have to look up and around. If we had them, I'd look at them too.

 
At March 04, 2010 , Anonymous amerwitch said...

this is the best thing i have written in your blog. keep it up!

 
At March 04, 2010 , Blogger Thalia Took said...

Mmmmm... the thickest intestines.

Yeah, happily single, thanks. :)

 

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