The Parable of the Very Faithful Vulture
Book of Anne 3:2
1. Once in a past year, the village of Wenonah suffered a dreadful ice storm. 2. The damage was extensive to homes, trees, and wildlife. 3. A kindly woman looked out her back window that morning, and lo, she did behold a most distressing sight. 4. On the lawn in her small back yard sat a turkey vulture. It seemed to be injured. Nearby, on her fence, another turkey vulture sat watching the injured bird. 5. The kindly lady went out into her yard, and verily the injured vulture did not fly. The other vulture did fly, but only to a nearby tree. When the lady went back inside, the vulture that could fly returned to the fence. 6. Thinking quickly, and being of a supremely holy temperament, the lady brought a space heater from her living room, and too, she brought an extension cord. 7. The holy lady did set up in her back yard the space heater and left it where the injured vulture could approach. As the lady watched from the window, and the other vulture from the fence, the injured vulture approached the space heater and did stand near to it. 8. The lady saw what she had done and thought it good. 9. After a period of 30 minutes had passed, the injured vulture spread its wings and flew to the fence. Lo and behold, its wings were not injured but frozen. They needed only to thaw in order for it to fly again. 10. The whole time the frozen vulture was thawing, its mate sat patiently on the fence, watching. When the frozen vulture was able to fly, the pair flew off together. 11. Therefore I say to thee, he who pair bonds is holy like unto the vulture, for he will raise fine chicks and live in a secure tree and eat the thickest intestines. 12. He will dwell all his days with a companion who will not desert him in time of need, nay, but stay closely at his side through danger, toil, and snare. 13. But he who cleaves not to the pair bond will be last to the feast. He will find only bones and ants where once lay fine, thick intestines. He will curse and gnash his beak, saying, "Wherefore is my mate, and my chicks, and my nest? For all is gone, and I have only bones and ants for my sustenance."
The word of Anne for the people of Vulture. Thanks be to Vulture.