Monday, October 05, 2009

What I'm All About

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," with a ha ha ha and a ho ho ho and a he he he! Jolly good fun!

I had such an awful day today that I could either sit here and cry, or sit here and laugh. Laugh it is!

Let me think about something funny.

Oh, here's a good one.

My dad was raised in a strict Baptist family. He didn't smoke or drink. But one year at Christmas, the next door neighbor gave Dad a bottle of wine as a present.

Dad was the kind of guy who never liked to see anything go to waste. If someone was going to give him a bottle of wine, by golly, he was going to drink it!

One evening he drank it. I don't know how much of it he drank at once. You just have to trust me, this was truly a one-time thing. No booze before this, no booze afterward.

He was sitting in his lounge chair, and he just started laughing.

(Oh, yeah, like that's not a typical response to alcohol.)

I said, "What's so funny?"

And he just split a gut. When he could speak (several minutes), he said, "What if they had a horse race, and they loaded all the horses into the gate, and the gate opened, and none of the horses ran?"

He guffawed for another five minutes, and that was all he said.

It is pretty funny, if you think about it.

5 comments:

Hecate said...

Wine, to butcher a quote from the divine Ben Franklin, shows that the Goddess loves us, and wants us to be happy, but not so happy that we get headaches.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

He may have only got drunk once, but at least he was a happy drunk! (Chin up, hold on, may things get better soon for you.)

Evn said...

On Christmas Eve several years ago, my normally "just one glass of wine with dinner" mom got into the egg nog. My sister-in-law said something about the Christmas tree, and how much she enjoyed hanging all the old family ornaments that have been passed down for generations.

"Yes," said my mother. "Until you're attacked by tigers." And then she giggled for half an hour.

Feel better soon, 'kay?

Maebius said...

This story is why my wife doesn't let me wander off while camping at festivals and having some wine beforehand. I get a serious case of the giggles and will follow people around telling them similarly "awesome" jokes and funny stories.

Hopefully you can still laugh sincerely, without the bittersweet stress part soon!

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

you have a happy heart which is why you will always turn to laughter instead of tears..one of the reasons why I heart you..