Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," family values for those longing to be Left Behind! Because it's absurd to think Judeo-Christians have a lock on family values.
The chief joy in my life is my two daughters, The Heir and The Spare.
They are so different.
The Heir revels in anything weird. Clam Plate Orgies, Techno-Industrial music, roadside tourist wastelands. She loves New Jersey with a white hot passion and is proud to be a native. (I guess that proves how weird she is.)
The Spare abounds in ingenuity. She knows how to put together a stunning ensemble, a full-course meal, a broken appliance. She could strut right through Paris and break every male heart -- but we don't have the money to go to Paris, and she's okay with that.
If I want to have fun with The Heir, we take a walk in the woods.
If I want to have fun with The Spare, we plan a meal and go grocery shopping.
The Heir is earnest, hard-working, insecure. The Spare is glib, easygoing, and confident.
You can't wrestle The Heir into a dress. You can't wrestle The Spare into a pair of running shoes.
Vive la difference! I wouldn't change a single thing about either of them. It has been a pure pleasure watching them grow up. Their ancestors would be proud.